Thursday, May 20, 2010
One of Those Days
I am having one of those days where on the one hand I feel very exhausted, depleted, and physically out of balance, and on the other hand I am so disgusted and angry with my body/shape that I just want to scream and throw out all the food in my house. Some days I honestly don't believe I'll ever be normal.
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3 comments:
I hate those days .... and can definitely relate. The only thing I know to do is to continue to put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing - even if it means I have to scream and cry the entire time. Just keep breathing ... you will make it through.
Sarah said it well, as there is no easy answer to those days (just do the next right thing). We all have them, which leads me to believe that there is no "normal," so don't let that bring you down another rung.
Screw body image. I have no idea what you look like and still hang around here because you intrigue me, you're intelligent beyond the credit you give yourself and I can relate to your struggles. You're human. Feel the shit but don't act on it. This too shall pass...(and then you'll just be pissed you threw out all your food.) ;)
If I've lerned anything from the program, Cammy, it's that going against the eating disorder ALWAYS - EVERY SINGLE TIME - ends up being the right thing to do. I've also learned that sometimes you don't understand how following your mp and cutting your exercise can be possible. Sometimes it feels awful. Sometimes you can't see how doing the healthy thing is the right thing. But, here's what I've gained trust in.... I've come to trust that, always, in hindsight, ALWAYS you're glad you did the uncomfortable thing. I've gained trust that ALWAYS, after the dust settles, you are okay, you feel okay, and you're glad you made the hard decision.
So try to trust that, even though it's hard, you'll be glad that you decreased your exercise and followed your MP.
It's crazy hard, Cam.... but going forth in recovery by feeling the body blahs and STILL decreasing exercise is the RIGHT decision.
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