I have been looking forward to my therapy appointment all week, because I've had some really heavy things on my mind that I needed to talk about. I haven't done so great with the challenges (ok, have done crappy for the past week), and needed a kick to process things and get back on track.
For some reason, the universe seemed to be conspiring against me.
I had class at 8:00, then worked on stuff in my office for a few hours. I have a BIG project coming up that I *thought* was due Monday, but is actually due Friday. Oops. Hadn't even started it until this morning. Stress.
My therapy appointment was at 12, so at 11:30 I packed up and headed out to drive over there.
Remember I am in a rental, because my beloved car (first one I have ever bought completely on my own) is in the shop, and so I'm currently driving a crappy little Chevy that feels and looks like a Tonka car. I feel like I'm driving around town in one of those little plastic Easter eggs, except there's nothing sweet inside. :(
So I approached and noticed the keyless entry didn't work, which was irksome. When I got in, I realized it was because the battery was dead. Fail. Well damn. I went back in to ask if anyone in the lab had jumper cables, which someone did. While I was in, someone came and parked in the open space next to me, meaning I was blocked in completely and no cables could reach to jump the damn thing. FAIL.
At this point I knew I wasn't going to make it to the therapy appointment. Fortunately it's the first one I've missed, so there was no fee, but I was still MEGA upset. My angst was about 90% over the appointment and just 10% over that POS car. I called my mom to vent and went into a full-blown Ugly Cry.
So I called the rental company, and they sent someone over to get me in a new car. They did the paperwork, entered the change into the computer, etc, which took forever. Gave me the keys, went out to do the pre-rental damage check, and it had a flat tire. F*ing failFailFAIL.
So we did that whole process again, and I was given the keys to a third car (same make and model as the other two losers). Requesting lots of positive thoughts and energy to help the Little Engine That Maybe Can't to get through the weekend, my own precious vehicle should be done next Tuesday or so.
Fortunately, none of that cost me any money. Even more fortunately, C. had a cancellation for later in the afternoon, so I actually did get my therapy session. I felt almost all better as soon as I found that out.
And boy did I need that session. I have been feeling really blue and emotionally weighted down this past week, and I definitely had a lot of things to bounce off of C. I feel like my head is screwed on a little more firmly now. I was hoping this cloud of melancholy would fade more after I got some things off my chest, which doesn't seem to be happening, but I do feel like I benefited and am SO glad I didn't have to sit on everything til next week.
I sucked at challenges last week, so instead of giving me goals (X days at half exercise, for example), she told me that I'm totally in charge this week, she's leaving it to me to decide what I need to do and do it. Ok....so I think I'm going to do what I was supposed to do last week but essentially blew off: 3 days of half-exercise, 3 others at the new ceiling (which is 75% of the original amount), and one day at an intermediate between the two times. With no "cheating" by going to the gym for more intense machines on the days I reduce time.
I think one reason I lost it earlier today was that I only slept about 4 hours last night. I was planning to start a new yoga class tomorrow morning, but can't decide if it will benefit me more to just sleep a little extra and wait til next week to start the class.
Sorry for the whine session!
PS The new rental car is red. And you know, I really do think I feel sexier in it . . . ;p
7 comments:
wow, I can just feel the frustration with the whole rental car thing! What a pain! I'm glad you got into therapy afterall, though. I hate to miss appointments too, even if you do have a legitimate excuse.
Hopefully the next few days go better :)
Man, oh man, what a day! I pretty much cry over any issue involving a car or a computer. Both make me feel totally helpless. And missing therapy is a big stress. I'm so glad you were able to see her anyway. That is the lucky lining to the cloud. I think the universe knew it had treated you crappily (not a word, I know) and wanted to make sure you had a chance to unload the stuff going on in your head. I think it's great that you're in charge this week. Can't wait to hear how it goes! As for the yoga class...that's a tough one. It's just one class, meaning you can miss it and it's no big deal, or you can go and you'll likely survive even if you're tired ;) Hope you start to feel better soon!
I'm sorry to hear you've had such a rough day. That SUCKS!!! I'm glad that C. had an appointment this afternoon, you deserved a major break. You actually deserved a much bigger break than just the appointment, but I'm glad you got something.
I really hope that tomorrow goes better, and that you can get your assignment done quickly!!!
Oh, wow, Cammy, what a day! I'm happy that you got to have your therapy session in the end. It's really cool that your therapist trusts you to take charge of your own exercise this week. That means she really believes you can do it, and she trusts you to make the right choice. You seem to have a good plan, and I know you'll do the best you can do.
I'm sorry you've been feeling down. I wish I could say something to make you feel better. Keep taking care of yourself. It makes dealing with everything else that much easier. Plus, you, like every other human, deserves good self-care.
hang in there, Cammy. sucky day, but tomorrow will be better. Treat yourself to a cupcake or two!!
Oh dear! I go find it difficult if therapy is cancelled unexpectedly too, I'm glad C had a cancellation. Good luck with setting your own challenge this week - that sounds like a really good idea. I always found that the changes I got myself to work towards were easier to implement than the things other people told me to do, just because it's more difficult to rebel against myself! I am sending un-breaking-down-car vibes your way :)
what a shitty day! all of that would totally have made me lose the plot, too. but SO GLAD your T had a cancellation, and very glad you are going to try your exercise goals; i think it's pretty rad you're not lowering the goal standards and shooting for the original one. i'm rooting for you!
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