In Which a Significant Day Gains New Meaning

Yesterday was the 8 year anniversery of a critically pivotal day for our nation and the world. While I watched the towers fall during my third period Spanish class, the principal having declared that all teachers should suspend lessons and monitor the news on classroom TVs, it was obvious to myself and my friends that the date 9/11 would be seared into our memories for a lifetime.

Little did we know, that on that date 8 years later, 9/11 would once again be infused with a lifetime's worth of meaning, but this time it would be a joyful occasion. As of yesterday at 2:34 PM, I am a god-mother! One of my best friends delivered her baby, almost two weeks early. Despite her surprise arrival, she is healthy and perfect.

It meant a great deal to me when my friend asked me to be the godmother, back when she first found out she was pregnant. We have known each other since we were 12, and although we don't talk often anymore (she lives over a thousand miles away), it's one of those friendships that always picks up right where it left off, whether it has been 5 minutes, 5 weeks, or 5 months between communication. I never plan to have children of my own, but I am absolutely ridiculously excited about this whole god-mother thing. I have an array of miniature outfits for her (is there anything more heart-melting than such itty bitty shoes?). I literally spent two hours online investigating the comparative safety and chemical content of different fabrics before deciding what stuff animal to buy for her. I have already started a list of books to buy her when she is old enough to read. I wonder, how long before she has enough hair for barrettes?

It's funny, because I know most newborns resemble hybrids between glo-worms and crumpled towels, but when you have a connection to one they really do seem so beautiful and enthralling. Even though I haven't seen her in person yet, just the few photos I've seen so far have left me totally smitten.

I spoke with my friend yesterday, celebrating the new arrival, but then she texted me again at 3:30 this morning: "I can't sleep, she's too beautiful for me to close my eyes."

And of course it has occurred to me that babies are incipient adults, and that someday she is going to have to navigate this world full of pressures and demands, and will probably spend a great deal of time feeling unbeautiful, no matter what her mother and god-mother think.

It does put things in perspective, though. A couple of times today, when faced with decisions on whether/how much to cave to ED urges, I found myself contemplating what I would want her to do if she were in my place. Seeing how much I care about her without even meeting her, and the overwhelming emotions her parents have already invested in her, it just made me think about the fact that it would be so painful to contemplate her ever hurting herself. I think that it is very common for ED sufferers to understand that X,Y, and Z are dangerous and destructive behaviors, but to put themselves outside that circle of consequences, treating themselves in ways they would never dream of treating others.

My friend and her husband are both great people, and I know she's going to be nurtured and made to feel important for many things besides her external appearance. And of course I hope to help with that as much as I can.

You know, I'm not a kid person. I will happily deal with snakes, spiders, squirrels, or slugs, but I usually try to avoid small children if at all possible. And I have no genetic connection to this new baby, no hormone surges or kin selection instincts kicking into gear. But there is the emotional/psychological component. This friend has been like a sister to me, and has stuck by me through every rock-bottom period I have ever had. I am awe in the fact that my friend made this, she grew a human inside of her. A whole new life, poof, here she is. And I know that babies are born every day, every hour, every 4.2 seconds, to be exact...

But yesterday, when I got the surprise news that she decided to make her debut earlier than expected, to me it seemed as though everyone in the world should be obligated to stop, take notice, and express their awe over this 6 lb 13 oz miracle. Welcome to the world, little god-daughter! I can't wait to be a part of your life.