I didn't get enough to eat at the restaurant, and I knew it (the meals were all way more than I was comfortable with or significantly less than what I knew I needed, plus he only ate about half his meal, which made me self-conscious about scarfing mine). But even though I got home late I did have a snack when I got in, because I knew I hadn't had enough cals at dinner. And then I went to do my usual night workout, but was really tired, and decided to just forgo the last segment, and did not make up for it the next day. Both of which were things that I would never have considered a year or two ago.
We have been trading e-mails every day, and last night I told him about the ED. I just told him that I am "currently in the process of recovering," been dealing with it since age 13, have made a lot of progress but still have some things to work on. I also mentioned that the reason I hadn't told him sooner was that I was never sure whether the issue would "scare people off." Obviously I said the whole story in more words that that, but that was the gist.
So I spent today in suspense as to what his reaction would be. And here it is, verbatim:
Hey [Cammy],
I really appreciate you telling me about your struggle with anorexia. It’s never easy to reveal these sorts of troubles to people and I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to let me know. We all have our demons and they are never easy to deal with, but that is nothing to be ashamed of. It sounds like you have carried yours for a long time but as for it being a deal breaker or scaring people off, I’ve always felt that if people can’t accept our faults along with our merits, chances are we don’t really need them around anyway.
I really appreciate you telling me about your struggle with anorexia. It’s never easy to reveal these sorts of troubles to people and I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to let me know. We all have our demons and they are never easy to deal with, but that is nothing to be ashamed of. It sounds like you have carried yours for a long time but as for it being a deal breaker or scaring people off, I’ve always felt that if people can’t accept our faults along with our merits, chances are we don’t really need them around anyway.
Relief. Whew. Wow.
13 comments:
Wow, what a great response! I'm so glad you decided to tell him. I know the relief is enormous. Congrats on the dinner out, and not making up for the missed exercise. These are all victories :)
Cammy, so glad to hear the dinner went well. I know telling him of your ED was a struggle since you were likely holding your breath the entire time, but it sounds like he has some great understanding skills. I hope both of you continue to learn more about each other and just go from there.
Good work on recognizing you needed more fuel and forgoing a part of your exercise. Remember this, Cammy!
Yea! Way to go. This put a big smile on my face. I like Match :)
:-)
So happy for you.
And really proud of you for being able to be a bit more flexible with your night work out. Bit by bit, you are going to get rid of this eating disorder and have a full blown life that is truly in line with what you want, who you are, and what you care about. :)
Yay on all fronts! That's so exciting :D xo
YAY!!:)
Congratulations on both victories over anxiety and ED and Match's reaction! :)
Awww!
I think thats great that you opened up and that he was so supportive. i remember opening up to my husband (before he was my husband) and being worried about what he might think.
Really, its just a disease, like diabetes or something. It's too bad so many people with ED's are too ashamed to open up to people who could be a source of support. i think that ED's ability to keep us isolated just makes it harder to recover.
WOW. Ok. I'm impressed w/ many things here (I just read your last post, too.)
You did a great job coping w/ your mom's visit. I know that sounds weird to say that you have to cope with someone you love, but you know what I mean--it's difficult. My brothers in law just visited for 5 days, during which we ate out once and went bar hopping, and I am actually sick so the last time I exercised was a long walk on Saturday. I'm FREAKING OUT. So it happens to all of us--being out of our routines is hard. I'm really impressed with the fact that you were able to go out to eat with your mom twice in one day, to order a coffee "milkshake" (even by accident) since I can't even order a blended coffee drink at a non-Starbucks location for the same reason you listed, and that you went out AGAIN (breaking routines several times in one week!) with Match. Then you add on not making up for the missed exercise? Are you like TRYING to get 1234343 gold stars here?
You are a beast. You deserve our respect, and I'm so glad that guy gave you some. It's tough, but like he said, everyone has their issues. I hope you continue to enjoy one another's company! ;)
Is your Match's real name Keeper McKeeperson? Because it sounds like he might be.
And the whole not-making-up-exercise thing is a big deal and you deserve a huge pat on the back. Or, as I tell my four-year-olds, kiss your brain.
Wow- Match sounds like a great guy. Even if nothing turns out of it romantically, it sounds like you have a great friend.
But do tell him if he's a douchebag to you, he'll have to deal with ME. ;)
I am so incredibly in awe of the hard, hard work you are doing. I know it's not easy, and I hope one day you can take a step back and say with a smile that it was worth it.
this guy is a keeper!
good on you for telling him, i know by experience its easier when they know...but so hard to tell! but decent guys provide so much support.
i love how you know that you didn't get enough at dinner, and ate more at home. way to go! you're incredibly inspiring for me right now :)
and i'll be reading more often.
take care
x
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