Today my university is having a health fair, with tons of screenings, healthfood giveaways, free pedometers, and enough brochures to wallpaper Versailles. I already know that I have low bone density, but I did the osteoporosis screening just out of curiosity. The results were pretty much as I expected, and the Screening Lady sat down and went over all the reasons it is low but I shouldn't be concerned. Apparently:
1) since I am under 35, I haven't reached peak density yet!
2) I appear to have a "light frame" "lucky you, hee hee"
3)I should exercise to build more bone! At least 30 minutes three times a week! [when was the last time I even let myself leave the house in the morning without doing triple that???]
My reactions:
1) Except my density is lower now than it was when I was 17, not a trend leading to a peak in middle age
2) Yeah, it's amazing how a decade of pathological austerity will sculpt that frame down real nicely. I do love it when I am supposed to be getting used to the idea of gaining weight but people still compliment my skeletal structure like it's an acheivement.
3) Ha. Is all I can really say, big fat humorless ha. Screening Lady, do you really want to hear how many sets of workout clothes I have had to throw away because of the bloodstains from the friction between my bones and the floor/soles of my shoes/exercise equipment?
After she finished rationalizing all the reasons I shouldn't be worried about my ultra low score, I mentioned
Me: "Well, I have had an eating disorder for a few years."
Her: Blink, blink. "Well, you know that could possibly be a factor."
Me: "Thanks for your time." [turn to walk away]
Her: "Have a great day and don't forget to grab a t-shirt, I think the smalls are almost gone!"
Wow, I'm so glad we're provided with access to this free health advice and insight!
Other, non-ED related ironies from the health fair:
-I walked through around 11:30, when the lunch rush was starting in the student center, and there were long lines at all of the snack machines despite the abundance of free health food being given out at all the booths, including swag bags with all kinds of samples of fresh fruit, protein bars, health drinks,e tc.
-The Center for the Deaf was giving free hearing loss screenings, but the people at the booth were having to shout the information at passers-by to be heard over their iPods.
4 comments:
God that's hilarious. You'd think that a college would be aware of reasons a young adult may have freakin' osteoporosis and be sensitive to that.
Good for you for telling her why you have osteo...I wish I could have seen the look on her face! :)
Oh, the fun college health fairs! Some of those screeners say the stupidest things. I think most times they mean well, but their knowledge is one-tone, generic.
I guess those samples weren't enticing enough, though I find it hilarious too since college students talk about being broke all the time. Here, they have free samples and aren't taking them!
Oh, collegiate health fairs. I think we have one coming up.
Yesterday a guy thought I was checking him out, but really I was just staring at him because his iPod was SO LOUD I could hear it at 50 yards.
And I don't know about your college, but at OU those free samples would have been gone in minutes, health food be damned. We do not mess around here.
So many "health" fairs nowadays are so bogus. I'm surprised that it baffled an osteoporosis screener that eating disorders cause bone loss.
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