So, the Talk did not go Well. Immediate tearful meltdown (not on my side, I don't do crying), various messy defensive tactics (on both sides), lots of muddling for that ever elusive phenomenon,
communication. Articulation, articulation, wherefore art thou, articulation . . . not here, that's for sure. I'm not sure which is worse, how much this situation sucks or how much I suck at dealing with it. More details later after I have done more processing.
It brings to mind one of my favorite
Lost quotes, one that is simple and probably pretty mundane, but still really struck home when I first heard it. Juliet tells Jack she had a therapist on the island, and he gives her a weird look, then she responds:
It's stressful being an Other, Jack.
No shit.
3 comments:
Cammy,
Although I don't *know* you like many people who read and respond to your blog, I am so sorry that the Talk did not achieve what you had hoped. You didn't mention if you have tried to broach the subject with your mom before. If so, how did that go? And if not, despite this being messy and not what you had hoped, maybe it is a necessary beginning?
I am sympathetic to anyone who tries to make a parent understand since I finally gave up because it was like hitting my head against a wall. Painful to ME, but no one else seemed to suffer.
- Kristina
So sorry the talk did not go as well as hoped. It leaves for a frustrating mess. Sometimes, I think this is where a therapist or at least a third party who can be objective can be useful.
Sometimes you need to know that there is someone in your corner who can also articulate better than you can what is going on. If then, your mother still does not get it, then it comes to a point that it is HER problem and not yours. I think that's one of the hardest realizations to learn.
This doesn't make it any easier nor hurt less but it does give for a sense of acceptance. Or maybe that's not the right word.
By the way, I can't wait for Lost to begin!
Um, hi Cammy, I hope its ok that I leave you a comment....
I just wanted to say that I think it was really brave for you to have that talk with your mom.
Like you I don't (really) do crying but I also don't do communication with my family when it comes to serious topics. I don't know if I could ever have a similar conversation with my mom so I really admire you for doing it.
best wishes, sarah-j
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