I also found out today that my university failed to arrange for my stipend payments for the following year, so I have close to a$1000 worth of bills being automatically drafted from my account on Monday and zero income for the month.
And my dad's job is downsizing and closing the location where he works. He's not being let go, but he will have to relocate right in the middle of the school year, a problem for 1) my brother, who will be a graduating senior in high school, 2) my mom, who is halfway through law school and can't transfer, and 3) last and least, but still me, who was planning to live here with them for the year while getting myself out of debt and am now not sure what I'll do if they move.
And my mom's dog is a tampon-munching trash can raider that left his unburied treasure in my brother's room today, neither of us will ever live that down.
Oh and I spent way too long at the gym and ate less than I knew I should have today. I don't know why. I know I shouldn't have but frankly, I don't give a damn.
I'm tired.
8 comments:
Ugh, sounds like you're dealing with quite a lot right now. Relationship issues would be more than enough...but money stuff, dad job stuff, dog-eating-tampon stuff (gross)... I hope you don't fall into the overexercising and restricting thing too far. Sometimes, I have little stints to cope with extreme stress, but it's flirting with danger. Do you have plans to find a new treatment team? I hope you work things out with M, meaning I hope you both have some peace about whatever you decide.
darling! you dont need to use food and behaviors to deal with what you're going through. youve come such a long way, and have so much going for you. all there is to do is accept where you are, and keep moving forward!! stay strong, keep fighting. i promise its worth it
hope you have a wonderful day. Keep shining.
love, becca
http://fromheretothereinpurple.blogspot.com
I'm sorry that things are so tough for you right now... I know it probably feels like you don't care about falling back into your old behavior patterns, but do you really want to undo all of your hard work? I know things weren't working out with your old treatment team, but I hope you're looking into one that will work for you.
<3 <3
He will get over it. Trust me on this one, a clean break is way better and will help him move on.
Oh C...
I'm worried about you. There's so much going on for you and everything is up in the air and that's incredibly hard for *anyone* to deal with, let alone people like us who have ED's and the extra anxiety that goes along with it.
Be strong. Make that break if it's best.
I'm sorry about this move. Everything sounds so hard and scary right now. Try to be tough and not "take it out" on food. Your body needs and deserves the nourishment!
Loving you,
B
It's funny, but the ending of my last blog post is the same as yours..."I'm tired." You have a lot going on right now, and that does make it so easy to fall back into ED behaviors. I hope that all of the issues troubling you don't push you too far out of recovery. The climb back up is a tough one! Try to remember that you are worth nurturing. Depriving yourself isn't going to make any of the problems go away. It will just compound the problems and add one more on. Don't give up! Let's keep fighting:)
come on you're stronger than this. life sucks sometimes, but don't let your beauty and health deteriorate as well. I thought you said you thought you looked like crap before gaining the weight back?
i just broke up with my fiance and went back, because i love him so much, but it isn't right. i'm not in love with him, even though i care so much. it's really, really, really, really hard to hurt someone you really care about. good luck! we're not together now, by the way, it just wasn't right.
so sorry about everything that's going on. i have just so much happening now too. it's very difficult, isn't it?
re; food and exercising. as kim asked, do you have a new treatment plan? when i have so much going on, my eating habits drift back....
take great good care.
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