Update from the Other Side

So, I'm here in New City, and have actually been moved in for about a week. I have been meaning to update, but honestly haven't had much to say for myself. I feel like I am incredibly tedious sometimes. The classic travel and stress triggers meant my eating sucked for a few days, and the packing/loading/unpacking effort has meant that my energy levels have plummeted into the red zone. I have been back on track with eating since my family left town, but the energy suck is really getting to me.

I have mixed feelings about the move. My new apartment is tons better in terms of space and design, but the location is terrible. I'm only 2 miles from campus, but I am triangulated within the three busiest roads in the city. This is possibly the least pedestrian-friendly place I've ever lived. This will make it impossible to walk/bike to school, and has made it really challenging to find a decent walking route for G. I am more than a little pissed, honestly. I'm paying exorbitantly high rent in order to be so close to campus, but it's not doing me any good. My mom was the one that came to see the apartment before I signed the lease (she was just 4 hours away from New City, compared to my 9 hours), and I wish she had noticed that my neighborhood is rimmed by 4-6 lanes of highway. There are a few residential blocks, but it's nothing like what we were used to in Old City, where we could walk straight downtown and all the way around campus. Here, even where there are sidewalks (almost nowhere) they are designed imbecilically (I made that word up, but I think the world needed the term). There is about 100 ft of sidewalk, then it ends and another 100 ft stretch starts on the other side of the street. Then that one ends and it switches back to the other side. It's like someone logged onto SimCity after too many beers. Trying to stick to sidewalks would be like playing real-life Frogger.

Ok enough ranting about that. The root of my frustration is that this means a lifestyle change. In Old City, my morning routine was 1) exercise bike, 2) walk G., 3) home to shower, have breakfast, make self presentable, and 4) walk to campus. If 4 is replaced with driving to campus, then that puts a cramp in my exercise totals, which means major stressage and obsessage and general displeasure. Since I have no function, purpose, or social life right now, I can compensate for that easily, but I will be majorly crunched for time once the semester starts and will probably have to either 1) adopt an even more extreme regimen, almost certainly sacrificing a great deal of sleep, or 2) grit my teeth and deal with having a 7 minute drive instead of a 27 minute walk. I can't decide which option will be more painful.

I miss Old City. I know I complained about the racism, and New City is indeed more diverse, which is great, but New City is also much bigger, busier, louder, and less friendly over all. I am going from a small university town (total pop ~40,000, of which 24,000 are students) to a city that happens to have a university (100,000 people, of which 12,000 are students). Big cultural shift. I have been astounded at how aggressive the drivers are. It really seems as though no one gives a damn if they hit you. In addition, I've been surprise at how thin people are here. Maybe it is just my clouded perceptions. I saw plenty of skinny sorority girls in Old City. But sometimes I am more triggered by thin middle-aged women than people my own age, for reasons I can't explain. I don't like it here.

Ok, that's my whining update. Now can you see why I've procrastinated posting? I have nothing new to say about my status: I'm tired, stressed, and exercise is kicking my ass. Ho hum, what else is new. My days pass quickly; each box on the calendar is a succession of workouts and borderline anxiety attacks in the kitchen.

One positive: I have added to my little family, I now have a cat! I adopted her exactly a week ago. I'd been tossing the idea around for a while, and then I happened upon a cat adoption fair at PetSmart and saw one that just grabbed my heart. She is a year old, and is a little frail but very fearless. If you take everything I love about G., she is the polar opposite, but I am finding that to be endearing in its own way. ;) It has been a few years since I owned a cat and she is most definitely challenging my control-freakishness, but that's probably good for me.

I'm headed out tomorrow for a girl's weekend with my mom, cousin, and aunt at a family vacation house in the mountains. I'm pretty stressed about that too, the old ED anxiety over food and missed workouts, and came *this* close to backing out. But I know it's important to my mom, so I'll go.

I also miss H. She told me to update her on how I'm doing via e-mail, and I'm glad she didn't just toss me out cold turkey. At the same time, I don't want to be needy and clingy (a la What About Bob?)Money is incredibly tight for both me and my parents right now, so I am probably going to be taking a break from therapy. I'll give myself a month or so to experiment flying solo, and then re-evaluate.

I'm sure there is something I'm leaving out, but I'm tired and have to get up early to drive in the morning, and this post is plenty long enough already. I hope everyone is doing well, I'm working hard to catch up on blog entries, but will get even farther behind when I'm out of reach of civilization this weekend. Take care and treat yourselves kindly!