I am already so overwhelmed, it's going to be hard not to stretch past my breaking point this semester. A sample of what's to come:
- President of Organization A
- Outreach manager of Organization B
- Fundraising committee member for Organization C
- Occasional participant in Organization D, when they have a guest speaker that interests me
- Co-instructor for a freshman class
- Student recruiter
- Assistant in -ology department
- Writing my honors thesis
- A side-project with reporting. I am on a press list for a publication, I get advance copies of reports and have to do a few write-ups a week . . . no pay, just great career development opportunities.
- Work (the job I actually get paid for)
- Hanging onto a thread of sanity, if time allows
I've been stressing over all that, and had completely forgotten about classes. Oh yeah, that school thing, the supposed point of my life right now . . .
Don't get me wrong, I love school and I'm actually really excited about the subjects I'm taking this fall, but until today it had slipped my mind that I'll be squeezing that in on top of everything else. The ONLY complaint I have about being a science major is that we get really cheated on hours, you get one extra credit for classes with labs, but labs are always much more than one hour. I am taking 5 classes this semester, earning 18 credits hours. But if you count up the hours I actually spend in class/lab, it comes out to 25 hours. -Ology kids get gipped. At least I don't have to pay tuition on all those unacknowledged hours, I guess.
I don't mean to complain, just a little anxious about whether I can live up to everything. I am really passionate about everything I'm involved in, it's not like anyone is making me do any of it, I do truly want to. What is the point of this post? I'm not sure, what is the point of me in the first place? I am just already feeling so drained. I need to keep the ED under control in order to manage everything else. I want to keep it under control so that I can enjoy everything I'm involved in, as opposed to just trudging through everything counting down hours until the day is over, only to wake up and repeat the performance again the next morning. It's just so hard, when I have so much else on my mind it's easy not to protest when the ED bumps me out of the driver's seat and takes over. Honestly, that just feels like autopilot, my default mode at this point.
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1 comment:
It's great to passionate and you obviously are. And there's nothing wrong with having a lot of commitments--as long as you can handle them all. It's not admitting defeat if you have to give up one or two things. It's just admitting that you are human. If you do continue with all the things on your list (which are all awesome by the way), just be sure to take the needed time for you. It will be so easy to say that there is no time left to focus on that...but there needs to be or everything else will slowly fall apart. You need that peace. Don't get ahead of yourself. I'm the same way-- I get overwhelmed with lots of things I want to/need to do--I'm so passionate about so much--and I have so many commitments. Make sure that if you're given a scenario, that you come first. I know you can do whatever you put your mind to--just make sure you give that mind the rest it needs!
Much love,
Arielle
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