Sunday, August 3, 2008
Already tired
I've only been back in the Real World for about 24 hours, and I am already exhausted and discouraged and frustrated as hell with myself. After all the thinking, reasoning, and introspection I've done over the last month, I still shift into auto-pilot. It's like I can step out and watch myself go down the same destructive path that I've repeatedly blundered down in the past. But can it really be considered blundering when I know exactly what lays in store? I don't think so, it feels too smooth.
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1 comment:
Hey Cammy, welcome back - I'm very happy to read your posts again. :)
I have to run out the door to go to therapy, but I'll just say quickly...isn't that smooth, paved road so difficult to veer off of? I understand completely; I'm struggling with the same thing. It's like I don't know how to NOT be an anorecitc, even when I don't want that disease, that identity, placed on my anymore.
It is so tiring, but you have to keep fighting, because that's the only hope we have of ever winning.
xo, more later...
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