Introspection on Introversion

I attended a leadership workshop last month, and we did several personality surveys, and one was an introvert/extrovert test. I scored as an introvert. That wasn’t surprising, but I did learn quite a bit when we talked about what it really means to be intro/extro, it was an enlightening session.

I am not at all shy, or afraid to be around people, I have always made friends easily and am not a stereotypical timid introvert. In the session, we discussed the misconception that introverts are socially awkward hermits. In reality, it just means that you get strength and focus better when you have independent time to "process" things. For me, where the introversion comes into play is that I can just get overloaded after a while from being social, and need some “me time” to retreat and recharge. I am the queen of “me time.” I enjoy being around other people, but I need to do it on my own terms and definitely need a safe zone to which I can retreat whenever I feel the urge. Examples: I live by myself, have never had a roommate; I am not shy about going to movies by myself if there is one I especially want to see; and I really enjoy long road trips with just me and my dog.

I have been pondering this issue, and I think that maybe the ED can be seen as one of those retreat zones. I want so much in life, there are so many things I want to do, to see, to be. It can truly be overwhelming, the ideas and goals and activities are kind of like being in a crowded room, and sometimes I just need a hole to crawl into in order to take a break from everything…the problem is that I have managed to dig an incredibly maladaptive and insidious hole, and have managed to get myself wedged in pretty tightly.

It's scary to poke your head out of that hole, blinking into the sunlight. A big part of recovery is learning better methods to cope, developing ways to deal with the world without having to resort to destructive behaviors as distractions when life gets overwhelming. I wish I had a magic formula to share, an exact recipe for the ideal coping strategy, but I think that a lot of it is just trial and error, living each day in the moment and allowing yourself to learn from mistakes instead of punishing yourself for them.

I would be interested to hear other views on the "introversion from life" hypothesis, please don't hesitate to leave comments on that or with ideas for alternate, healthy ways to retreat and recharge!