Smoothing Out the Edges

I often have blogger's remorse after I do a negative post, so I felt the need to redeem myself after yesterday's whinefest.  Yes, all of those things are difficult right now.  But in the big picture, I don't have it so bad...even my rough patches have pretty smooth edges, if you think about it

I am sick but...I live in a country with top medical services available, AND I have a great health insurance package.  After a year of paying tons of money for a mediocre plan, my university started offering a great plan that I get for free. I switched immediately, and it is so nice to not have to worry about a high co-pay and deductible every time I set foot in someone's examining room.  I know so many people have no medical insurance at all, and I'm really lucky that I do.

My boyfriend lives 600 miles away...but he is still super-attentive and ultra-trustworthy.  I have never for a second worried about him straying.  And he texts me good morning and good night, and all day in between.  He makes sure I know I'm loved no matter what else is going on.  I can tell him when I'm struggling without being judged, and he understand that I don't look to him to fix anything, it's enough to just be able to get it off my chest.  And he's just plain fun, he invariably knows how to make me smile, even on the worst of days.

I am back living with my family....and I have a healthy family that I am very proud of and close to.  They're letting me live here rent-free, which is really saving me financially right now.  I get along with them, they give me my privacy, and G. gets a lot more stimulation with more people and cats to track around the house.

I'm definitely feeling lonely and disconnected...but I do indeed have a great network of friends that care about me, even if they're not close by.  I moved a ton when I'm a kid, and I know from experience that friendships can stay strong over the miles and years.


I'm feeling a bit puny but not gaining weight despite following my meal plan....but I'm at a psychological point where I can follow the meal plan every day, getting at least that much nourishment.  It means eating amounts/types of food that would  have been unfathomable to a former version of Cammy.  And even though I have lost weight this year, I'm definitely more robust than I kept myself for most of high school and undergrad.


I'm feeling pointless because I don't have enough work....but at least I'm getting a bit of a breather, compared to semesters when I literally had to consult my planner to see when I could fit in a shower.  I'm sure that I'll have plenty of high-stress hectic times before I finish my MS and PhD, shouldn't complain about a quiet period while I have it.  And it has given me time to work on a couple of side projects not related to my thesis.

One of my favorite professors died...ok it's hard to find a positive for this one.  So I'll just be glad that I had the chance to know her when she was alive.  She left a huge imprint on so many lives, even though hers was cut off early.

In the big picture, it ain't so bad.  Yesterday was one of my Down Days, today has been a bit better. Thanks for the texts, comments, and e-mails, by the way, you know who you are and you're awesome. <3