New York Times: Loss of Bone Mass Linked to Contraceptive
NPR: A biography of osteopenia: how the marketing of bone density pills "created" current screening and diagnosis methods
In other news, I had a milestone yesterday: I actually took a nap. I don't think I'd done that since I was a kid. I was so tired that I literally felt in danger of dozing off while walking my dog, and this was in Arctic temps that should have had me wide awake. So I came home and crawled into bed, wow that felt good. (Woot for the blogosphere where a nap can actually be made into news, how self-absorbed was this item? Sheesh).
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The weather is supposed to start easing up on the omgfrigid-ness this week. I think I was just starting to acclimate to the 30's a bit. I emphasis the "bit" part, will definitely be glad for more habitable temps to set in. No me gusta the winter. I can't think of anything that gets me quite as miserable as being cold does. Just a friendly reminder: one benefit to weight restoration is that the wind/cold does not penetrate to your core QUITE so easily. Although I still prefer to bundle up in as many layers as physically possible: bending your elbows is highly over-rated.
I got a very nice e-mail from H., my psychologist from Undergrad City, checking in on me to see how my first semester, holidays, etc had gone here. It was so nice to hear from her. C. is working out for me, but I still don't have the same connection/dynamic that I did with H., and I miss that. Also, C. is an LCSW, not a psychologist, so even though her specialty is EDs she doesn't always seem to want to talk about thoughts as much as behaviors, and sometimes I just need to sort my brain out a bit.
How did my two Unchallenge days go by so fast? Back in the saddle tomorrow. I have a busy day again, but Match won't be available to save me from my habits in the evening. And I both need and want to be a big girl and do the saving by myself, anyway.
I see both C. and my dietitian (does she have a letter yet? I can't even keep track of this alphabet soup) on Tuesday. On the table for therapizing this week: relationship stuff (I need to talk about body image in relation to increasing intimacy, and in case I came across as what my gramma would call a floozy about Match's sleepover in my last post, we are not "there yet" TMI? sorry. Oops, I still in the parentheses aren't I?), exercise stuff (obviously) and maybe some scheduling stuff, I feel like if I'm going to be decreasing exercise I need to put in some initial structure to substitute, so I'm not just pulling my hair out with anxiety.
I hope everyone had a fantabulous weekend!
8 comments:
HAHAHAHAHA about "there yet." Also, I adore the fact that you reported you took a nap. That is indeed major progress!
Physical stuff was hard for me, too. Something that really helped both D and me was when I communicated to him that it was difficult. I basically told him, "really, just don't touch my stomach if you want me to be at ALL present during physical encounters" because he would touch it and I would immediately think 2343 bad thoughts about myself. He obviously wanted me to be in the romantic, bonding mood when touching one another, so it was an easy switch for him, and now that we are married and actually "there" I have become more comfortable w/ it.
Ya, I can very quickly "leave" a romantic situation (mentally, I mean) if there is something that makes me focus on my body. It's funny what kind of self-criticism stew I can concoct. There are some "I'm too skinny there" thoughts mixed right in with "Whoa now, feeling fat there." I think communication is just really key.
Also, naps are HUGE. I love them. I can't always calm my mind enough to indulge, but when I do, it's such bliss.
Yeah to naps! I'm a fan of power naps. I find five minutes with some, and that is enough to rejuvenate me.
I'm so glad you heard from H. It is always really good to hear from therapists that we've had good connections with. I've always snail mailed mine with the exception of C. in college.
I think talking to C. about relationship stuff along with body image is really important. It's always an incredibly sensitive area for me to discuss, so knowing what you like, don't like, feel comfortable with or not are all important factors to discuss, especially as a relationship builds.
C, yeah. Every guy worth keeping wants you to be into the physical portion of the relationship. Unfortunately, that involves communication and as you move further and further into the physical portion of the relationship you'll have to talk more. Sex is definitely not as easy and romantic as it seems on the movies, I've discovered, because there are so many emotions and boundaries and preferences and...like...mechanical issues to work through. D and I still get impatient or annoyed with one another sometimes because of that, but it's still a meaningful part of being in a relationship and it builds communication skills for other areas of your relationship. Hopefully that was not TMI, or perceived as me giving you a relationship lecture. Not my intent :)
Congratulations on the nap!!! Sometimes there really is nothing more desirable than plunking down for a midday slumber amidst the cold.
As for your comment about weight restoration in the cold- I gotta tell you I am much happier this winter- for some reason everytime I ever relapsed it happened to be the winter- and the winter is pretty damn cruel to an anorexic body.
Good luck on your challenge day tomorrow! Maybe if it helps, set off a timer so that it ticks when your 'exercise time' is up?
Yes! A nap when you're really tired for one can be incredibly refreshing! I'm so glad you respected your body's signals and took that nap!
How sweet of H to e-mail you. I know what you mean about missing the connection with her (I have a stronger personal connection with my RD than I do with my therapist, and I notice the difference....). Honestly, though, I think it's good that she works with you heavily on behavior stuff. I think she's really challenging you in a good way in that regard.
You're making a really healthy move by going back to the grind on your challenge days tomorrow. Accomplishing this challenge, realizing you still fit into the same pants, and realizing you're capable of more than you realize swill be huge. Remember, your body is not becoming unfit. Your metabolic rate is not dropping because you take 2 days (or even 2 weeks) off of exercise. You are giving your body the break it needs, and that is a lovely thing to do.
You talked about Match being there to save you from your behaviors at night. I just wanted to tell you that one time, I was telling Jane that I had made plans to skip dinner, but this guy asked me out to dinner, so I said yes. Jane goes, "Men. Such an underrated recovery tool." :) LOL. I laughed. She said, "I'm serious!"
Oh goodness! I can't make it through a three day period without atleast one nap! (yes, that is with full nights sleep too...)
I can totally relate with the physical obsession and struggling to feel comfortable in my own body even when my man continuously tells me how "beautiful" "gorgeous" "too thin" "sexy" and so on... it is so hard to be physical and have ED mind and feel half good about yourself. Atleast for me, I feel so vulnerable and my lame little ED refined mind constantly puts the word "lies" after every compliment he gives me... what gives?
Romantic stuff for me is hard. I was with my last boyfriend for a while, and it was well past the time we should have "got there" ha, and it was just excuse after excuse on my behalf. In the end I had to break it off, I find this hard to even talk to my therapist about. But I am going to bring it up next time I see her. because "going there" used to rock the socks off evreything!
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