So, not one but TWO publications submitted this week, everything for both papers was in by Wednesday. Holy carpal tunnel it has been a little intense getting all that finished up and sent in, but it's such a relief now! Just have to cross my fingers that reviewers will be kind.
My mood, self-esteem, and general satisfaction with life go up exponentially when I have a job to do and feel like I've actually accomplished something. Trouble starts (and ED is more likely to encroach) when I have too much free time and feel like a waste of oxygen. So I've had a lot of work recently, but it made me totally happy, has been a good week.
Speaking of writing, I don't think I've really mentioned before that I used to write fiction quite a bit. I've had to put that aside (for the most part) in recent years, although there is about 1/3 of a novel that has been gathering digital dust on my hard drive ever since the summer after my sophomore year of undergrad. Anyway, I'm not in classes this year, have wrapped up the side papers I intended to write, and am waiting for all of my field data to be collected before I can really dive into writing that up, so I have a bit of time to play around with just writing for fun again. I've had a new idea for a stab at a novel and have had a lot of fun developing that over the past few days. There probably isn't a point in sharing this, and sometimes I feel silly for spending time on other writing when I know that the most likely scenario is that it is no good and will never be seen by anyone...oh well. (note that is NOT a criticism of fiction writers, it is a criticism of my prospects of being a legit fiction writer).
Because this is my research semester and I'm living at home between field sessions to save on rent, I haven't been on a college campus since sometime in early November. Yesterday I was on campus at a nearby university (for reasons to be explained in the next post), and within the first 5 minutes of being there I came across a girl making herself vomit in the bathroom. Totally sad and very awkward. She came out of the stall with her knuckles bleeding and everything. What do you say? Besides that I wish with everything that EDs would just go the fuck away and let us lead happy and healthy lives.
As for me, trucking along with food, exercise still kicking my ass. An update I could basically cut and paste from all entries over the past 6 months or so. Decided against the new therapist, for (honestly!) mostly logistical reasons, but may look into seeing someone when I return to school in the fall. Even if I started seeing someone now, it would be infrequent and erratic due to my travel schedule.
In other news: BRRRR. This is the farthest north I've been for a winter in over a decade...and some people would claim I'm not actually that far north. Go away, winter!
Hope everyone has a fantabulous weekend, take care.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Miscellaneous Endorsements
I feel like lately my postings have been one litany of self-pity and muddlement after another. So, in a break from our regularly scheduled programming, just some random notes to remind everyone (and myself) that I'm a real person outside of the ED quagmire.
-My major professor and I are in the last stages of preparing a manuscript to submit, and today we were both supposed to be working on the *final* set of revisions our respective sections, to be finished TODAY. I didn't leave my chair for an entire 4 hour stretch because I was so engrossed in it, and, as you might imagine, it is REALLY hard to get my exercise-addicted ass glued in one place that long. I happen to think that my work is pretty damn awesome, though, and it sucks me in. When I finally took a break and checked into Facebook to see if I'd gotten any feedback on a posting, I saw that my adviser had been playing Farmville all morning while I was writing feverishly to, I thought, keep up with the work he was doing. Really??? *insert whip cracking noise here*
-I started the series 'Mad Men' this weekend and am TOTALLY hooked. I picked it up just on a whim when the seasons were on sale for $10 each after Thanksgiving. To be quite honest, I have little patience for the domesticity and materialism that seem to be so important to the characters, but it's written in a way that acknowledges and validates that aversion in a subtle and pleasingly cynical way, if that makes sense at all. The characters are extremely well done, and the stories are told very well. So, it wins my endorsement!
-I keep a space heater in my room to create a more Cammy-friendly climate envelope during the winter, and the new kitten has decided that makes me the most awesome person in the house. He pretty much stays in my room all the time now. I'm definitely a dog person, but this specific cat is sooo sweet. He also wins my endorsement.
-Other things that I endorse: fuzzy socks, white fudge Oreos, Holst's orchestral suite 'The Planets,' the smell of old books, the Victoria's Secret after-Christmas sale that seems to go on for weeks, and the pleasure of blasting the heat in a car in the winter to create a moving sauna while passing through a snowy landscape.
I hope everyone's week is off to a good start, love y'all.
-My major professor and I are in the last stages of preparing a manuscript to submit, and today we were both supposed to be working on the *final* set of revisions our respective sections, to be finished TODAY. I didn't leave my chair for an entire 4 hour stretch because I was so engrossed in it, and, as you might imagine, it is REALLY hard to get my exercise-addicted ass glued in one place that long. I happen to think that my work is pretty damn awesome, though, and it sucks me in. When I finally took a break and checked into Facebook to see if I'd gotten any feedback on a posting, I saw that my adviser had been playing Farmville all morning while I was writing feverishly to, I thought, keep up with the work he was doing. Really??? *insert whip cracking noise here*
-I started the series 'Mad Men' this weekend and am TOTALLY hooked. I picked it up just on a whim when the seasons were on sale for $10 each after Thanksgiving. To be quite honest, I have little patience for the domesticity and materialism that seem to be so important to the characters, but it's written in a way that acknowledges and validates that aversion in a subtle and pleasingly cynical way, if that makes sense at all. The characters are extremely well done, and the stories are told very well. So, it wins my endorsement!
-I keep a space heater in my room to create a more Cammy-friendly climate envelope during the winter, and the new kitten has decided that makes me the most awesome person in the house. He pretty much stays in my room all the time now. I'm definitely a dog person, but this specific cat is sooo sweet. He also wins my endorsement.
-Other things that I endorse: fuzzy socks, white fudge Oreos, Holst's orchestral suite 'The Planets,' the smell of old books, the Victoria's Secret after-Christmas sale that seems to go on for weeks, and the pleasure of blasting the heat in a car in the winter to create a moving sauna while passing through a snowy landscape.
I hope everyone's week is off to a good start, love y'all.
Saturday, January 8, 2011
Picture Perception Puzzlement
Pictures puzzle me. Throughout the course of my ED, I've had a range of experiences/reactions to pictures of myself as vehicles for reality checks. I can look at photos of myself during some bad times, and be appalled at how terribly sick I looked. This has served as a major reality check for me at times. On the other hand, I can look at some photos of myself when I was healthier and think how hideously huge I look, even though intellectually I *know* I was still underweight by the charts when it was taken.
I've been going through photos from this holiday season, during which I was significantly lighter than last year. And honestly, I can't tell at all that I've lost weight, from the photos. I guess bulky winter clothes hide a lot. I actually had a doctor say to me, at one point when I was very dangerously underweight, that "You know, you look pretty normal with your clothes on." It makes me wonder how seriously my family/friends actually take the ED sometimes, since it's so easy to fall into the trap of assuming everything is okay if someone's weight is up and/or stable. But seeing little or no difference makes it so easy for me to minimize the issue. I know that I've felt like absolute crap, and that my clothes fit differently, etc etc, but looking "normal" in photos makes it seem like maybe everything is in my head and really I'm fine.
And I hate the idea that I even care if people can tell. I really don't want attention for losing weight, I want everyone to leave me the hell alone about it. The main focus of most of my slips is not even a desire to lose weight. I don't *want* to be superskinny, but I really can't stand the idea of gaining weight, and certain overcompensatory behaviors are just so ingrained I can't give them up.
I think I just get curious about what other people perceive, since I've learned I can't trust my own interpretation of what I see in the mirror or in photos. Imagine you're wearing colored glasses that change how you see the world, but you're not quite sure what color they are on a given day, so you're not sure what's distorted or what's not. Okay, how's that for a shoddy metaphor???
Then again, six months from now I could look at those photos and definitely see the difference. That happens sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't. I don't mean this post to imply that I'm image obsessed. I look in the mirror very little on any given day. I don't really think I'm fat, I just have a hard time seeing being thinner as a problem I should take steps to reverse. Even though I know I'd definitely think someone else in my position would be better off proactively working on the issue, objectivity is a slippery thing sometimes.
I think at times like this, when I know I've slipped and need to turn things around, I vacillate between trying to admit there's a valid problem and trying to minimize the issue to myself, and so I go searching for evidence to whatever end of that spectrum my mind happens to be at any given moment.
I hope none of this was triggering to anyone, just kind of streamed my thoughts onto keyboard. As a major disclaimer, it's not that I think being too thin is acceptable or desirable or something that should be treated ambivalently. If I believed that, I wouldn't be in such turmoil trying to figure out where the hell I am and where I'm going right now.
I've been going through photos from this holiday season, during which I was significantly lighter than last year. And honestly, I can't tell at all that I've lost weight, from the photos. I guess bulky winter clothes hide a lot. I actually had a doctor say to me, at one point when I was very dangerously underweight, that "You know, you look pretty normal with your clothes on." It makes me wonder how seriously my family/friends actually take the ED sometimes, since it's so easy to fall into the trap of assuming everything is okay if someone's weight is up and/or stable. But seeing little or no difference makes it so easy for me to minimize the issue. I know that I've felt like absolute crap, and that my clothes fit differently, etc etc, but looking "normal" in photos makes it seem like maybe everything is in my head and really I'm fine.
And I hate the idea that I even care if people can tell. I really don't want attention for losing weight, I want everyone to leave me the hell alone about it. The main focus of most of my slips is not even a desire to lose weight. I don't *want* to be superskinny, but I really can't stand the idea of gaining weight, and certain overcompensatory behaviors are just so ingrained I can't give them up.
I think I just get curious about what other people perceive, since I've learned I can't trust my own interpretation of what I see in the mirror or in photos. Imagine you're wearing colored glasses that change how you see the world, but you're not quite sure what color they are on a given day, so you're not sure what's distorted or what's not. Okay, how's that for a shoddy metaphor???
Then again, six months from now I could look at those photos and definitely see the difference. That happens sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't. I don't mean this post to imply that I'm image obsessed. I look in the mirror very little on any given day. I don't really think I'm fat, I just have a hard time seeing being thinner as a problem I should take steps to reverse. Even though I know I'd definitely think someone else in my position would be better off proactively working on the issue, objectivity is a slippery thing sometimes.
I think at times like this, when I know I've slipped and need to turn things around, I vacillate between trying to admit there's a valid problem and trying to minimize the issue to myself, and so I go searching for evidence to whatever end of that spectrum my mind happens to be at any given moment.
I hope none of this was triggering to anyone, just kind of streamed my thoughts onto keyboard. As a major disclaimer, it's not that I think being too thin is acceptable or desirable or something that should be treated ambivalently. If I believed that, I wouldn't be in such turmoil trying to figure out where the hell I am and where I'm going right now.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Finally Home from Holidays
Soo...anyone out there? I've really been neglecting this blog lately, but I've been traveling a ton and honestly sometimes feel like all I have to say is the same ol' same ol' anyway....
Had Christmas, then took a road trip to another state to show Match off to the family for New Year's. My parents and brother drove there also, but Match and I went separately so we could peel off afterwards. He met a ton of extended family and everyone loved him (of course!). And my crazy relatives managed to not scare him off. Whew.
After doing the family thing for a couple of days, my nuclear family went back home and Match and I did some sight-seeing in the nearby cities, was the longest continuous visit we've had (an entire week, Thursday-Thursday).
I had a fantastic time with my family and Match and was, as usual, spoiled rotten.
Eating was not so great, though. We had a few active days, but the cold weather limited our time outside, and there were some days where we seemed to do little more than sit in the car, theater, someone's house, etc. I always tend to restrict on trips like that, with the honest goal of just *not gaining* weight, and am always surprised to come home and find out that I actually *lost* pounds. I suppose that should send me a message about how laying off the exercise really wouldn't make me gain weight as much as I fear, but I somehow manage to block out lessons like that. Something to work on.
There was one highly distressing day: I managed to scratch the hell out of my eye with a contact lens. It kept getting more and more runny, light sensitive, and painful throughout the day, and I didn't know why. At first I thought it might be allergies. We were driving to a new city that day, and by the time we got to the hotel I was starting to verge on freak-out mode. We looked for walk-in clinics with my GPS, but had to try 3 times before we found one that was open. The doctor there stained my eye and shone a black light on it to look for scratches, and as soon as she switched it on both she and M's jaws dropped, apparently I had seriously scratched the eye. Still no idea how, I've been wearing contacts for 12 years and it has never happened before, and it was a fairly new set of contacts.
So that was the bad part, the baddest part was that she PATCHED my eye. Some date, huh? I have never aspired to be a pirate. I got the patch about 8 pm and had to come back at lunchtime the next day to get it off. Fortunately, the eye is incredible and heals very fast, so the scratches were gone. I was in glasses for the remaining 2 days of the trip, which I normally despise, but I was so glad to get the patch off that at that point I didn't care.
So, for someone with great anxiety/doubt about their appearance in the first place, that was a bit of a nightmare, but M was really sweet about it. He went into the store to get food for me to have in hotel because I didn't want to be seen, and kept complimenting me and telling me even the patch couldn't unprettify me even though I know he was full of BS, albeit sweet BS. Was really stressful, but sometimes experiences like that can really make you closer. I literally couldn't keep my eyes open on the way to doctor, so he was in hero mode, taking his poor blind girlfriend to get fixed up.
Coming back home, I've tried to get back on the wagon with eating, doing pretty well so far. My stomach protested a bit, but not terribly. The trap I always fall into is rushing back into full exercise when I haven't really replenished myself from a week of poor eating. I've done well on every meal for the past 24 hours, only skimping was some on lunch yesterday, but feel really weak and light-headed.
Final issue of the day: I am scheduled to have my first appointment with a new ED therapist on Monday, and I think I'm going to cancel. Haven't 100% decided, but def leaning that way. Part of it is financial: the walk-in clinic wouldn't take my student insurance plan, so that whole ordeal cost me $300 I couldn't really spare. Part of it is a mixture of cold feet, ambivalence, and fear. I'm only going to be living here for about 6 more months, and I'll be away on trips periodically during that time, so I am afraid setting up a new therapeutic relationship is kind of futile right now. At the same time, I know I need someone keeping me on track, for every one step forward I've taken over the past few months I feel like I've slid two steps back.
Anyway, belated happy new year to everyone, I hope you all have had a fantastic start to 2011!
Had Christmas, then took a road trip to another state to show Match off to the family for New Year's. My parents and brother drove there also, but Match and I went separately so we could peel off afterwards. He met a ton of extended family and everyone loved him (of course!). And my crazy relatives managed to not scare him off. Whew.
After doing the family thing for a couple of days, my nuclear family went back home and Match and I did some sight-seeing in the nearby cities, was the longest continuous visit we've had (an entire week, Thursday-Thursday).
I had a fantastic time with my family and Match and was, as usual, spoiled rotten.
Eating was not so great, though. We had a few active days, but the cold weather limited our time outside, and there were some days where we seemed to do little more than sit in the car, theater, someone's house, etc. I always tend to restrict on trips like that, with the honest goal of just *not gaining* weight, and am always surprised to come home and find out that I actually *lost* pounds. I suppose that should send me a message about how laying off the exercise really wouldn't make me gain weight as much as I fear, but I somehow manage to block out lessons like that. Something to work on.
There was one highly distressing day: I managed to scratch the hell out of my eye with a contact lens. It kept getting more and more runny, light sensitive, and painful throughout the day, and I didn't know why. At first I thought it might be allergies. We were driving to a new city that day, and by the time we got to the hotel I was starting to verge on freak-out mode. We looked for walk-in clinics with my GPS, but had to try 3 times before we found one that was open. The doctor there stained my eye and shone a black light on it to look for scratches, and as soon as she switched it on both she and M's jaws dropped, apparently I had seriously scratched the eye. Still no idea how, I've been wearing contacts for 12 years and it has never happened before, and it was a fairly new set of contacts.
So that was the bad part, the baddest part was that she PATCHED my eye. Some date, huh? I have never aspired to be a pirate. I got the patch about 8 pm and had to come back at lunchtime the next day to get it off. Fortunately, the eye is incredible and heals very fast, so the scratches were gone. I was in glasses for the remaining 2 days of the trip, which I normally despise, but I was so glad to get the patch off that at that point I didn't care.
So, for someone with great anxiety/doubt about their appearance in the first place, that was a bit of a nightmare, but M was really sweet about it. He went into the store to get food for me to have in hotel because I didn't want to be seen, and kept complimenting me and telling me even the patch couldn't unprettify me even though I know he was full of BS, albeit sweet BS. Was really stressful, but sometimes experiences like that can really make you closer. I literally couldn't keep my eyes open on the way to doctor, so he was in hero mode, taking his poor blind girlfriend to get fixed up.
Coming back home, I've tried to get back on the wagon with eating, doing pretty well so far. My stomach protested a bit, but not terribly. The trap I always fall into is rushing back into full exercise when I haven't really replenished myself from a week of poor eating. I've done well on every meal for the past 24 hours, only skimping was some on lunch yesterday, but feel really weak and light-headed.
Final issue of the day: I am scheduled to have my first appointment with a new ED therapist on Monday, and I think I'm going to cancel. Haven't 100% decided, but def leaning that way. Part of it is financial: the walk-in clinic wouldn't take my student insurance plan, so that whole ordeal cost me $300 I couldn't really spare. Part of it is a mixture of cold feet, ambivalence, and fear. I'm only going to be living here for about 6 more months, and I'll be away on trips periodically during that time, so I am afraid setting up a new therapeutic relationship is kind of futile right now. At the same time, I know I need someone keeping me on track, for every one step forward I've taken over the past few months I feel like I've slid two steps back.
Anyway, belated happy new year to everyone, I hope you all have had a fantastic start to 2011!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Back
So, I'm back from Jungle Land, been traveling since 3 this morning. Really worn out. To be honest, I didn't try very hard with the ED stuff. It could have been much worse, but I could have done a lot to make it better. I think I've decided to try seeing a new therapist after the holidays. I so fucking want to just be a normal person.
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Done Gone Away
Just fyi, I didn't have time to do a last post before I left, but I am actually in tropical research country for the next couple of weeks, just made it to an internet cafe to let the fam know that I survived the flight and a day in the capital city intact. I'm worried and not all that confident about how food will go, I'm already kinda having a hard time. Possibly because my sleep has been minimal the past two nights and that just saps my mental energy.
This time around, though, I have some great friends as my traveling companions, and they're aware of my eating issues even though I've only ever explicitly discussed it with one of them, and even then not at great length...but I think that having them around will make me feel more accountable, make it harder for me to take off on my own all the time for extra exercise, etc. So hopefully it'll work out. And if it doesn't, at least it'll be my shortest trip yet; putting a rush on things to be back in time for Christmas.
Anyway, hasta luego, hope all of you handle the holiday season well, mucho amor!
This time around, though, I have some great friends as my traveling companions, and they're aware of my eating issues even though I've only ever explicitly discussed it with one of them, and even then not at great length...but I think that having them around will make me feel more accountable, make it harder for me to take off on my own all the time for extra exercise, etc. So hopefully it'll work out. And if it doesn't, at least it'll be my shortest trip yet; putting a rush on things to be back in time for Christmas.
Anyway, hasta luego, hope all of you handle the holiday season well, mucho amor!
Thursday, December 2, 2010
My Tardy Turkey Day Tale
Hey y'all, I'm back! Didn't intend quite such a long hiatus over Thanksgiving. I flew up to see my Boy for the holiday. We drove to his brother's house for a family Thanksgiving with his brother, dad, brother's gf and a couple of their friends. Overall it went well. The brother's girlfriend still makes me a little uneasy, and if I hadn't asked a few polite questions about her job/life to make conversation I doubt she would have talked to me at all. But I was glad she was there if only because it meant that I didn't have to come in last place every time on our 4-player Wii Mario Kart battle. ;)
I really stressed over this visit after I found out that M's family has been clued in to my ED. But it went okay. I volunteered us to bring a couple of things I was comfortable eating. As scary as the holidays may seem to be for people with EDs, I tend to handle Thanksgiving pretty well. It's way better than, say, traditional 4th of July food.
Despite the Arctic temperatures, we played some football and I made a good showing for myself, by the way. ;)
So that was Thanksgiving. Since I left for college I think I've only returned home for a single Thanksgiving with my own family, so I'm used to and usually fine with being alone that day. As comfortable as I am with that solitude, this was definitely the best Thanksgiving I've had in a long time, just for the slight victory of normalcy and the fact that I really like M's dad and brother (and M himself isn't bad either... ;p).
I stayed the weekend up there, flew home Monday. Usual recap of doing various things around the city and being spoiled rotten by doting boyfriend. He took me to pick out my very own coffee machine to keep at his house (he's not a coffee drinker), significant relationship milestone, no? ;p
We did some museums, saw Harry Potter, took a day trip to another city and got to have a lunch date with the fantabulous Amy, who is even cooler in real life, if you can possibly imagine that!
Oh and we went ice skating on Sunday, and despite not having worn skates in about 10 years I did NOT fall a single time!
That was both a fun and desperate outing, actually. I really struggled with lack of exercise on this trip, mostly because it was so bitterly cold outside, limited our usual outdoor walking to virtually nil, and we spent a lot of time in the car traveling between various states on a couple of days. I held up ok for the first couple of days, but was definitely getting anxious and uncomfortable about it by Saturday. I hate it when the ED takes over my personality and makes me quiet, edgy, and too much "inside your head", as M. says.
I put M. in a difficult position with that. He wants me to be happy and relaxed, so he tries to work in activities for us where possible (we did the skating, and he took us down to a nice river park on a sunny afternoon to brave the cold for a walk). But there is a fine line between accommodating and enabling, and I think he worries about where he's falling in that gray area. He's told me that if I am really having a hard time with the anxiety and want to use the rec center at his school, or go to a nearby gym on a guest pass, he's fine with that. On any trip longer than 4 days I think that would be best, not to do my usual whole daily routine but at least to have a token getting off my ass session... But anyway, I worry about putting him in a position like that, can't be easy. I guess what I mostly hate is that any part of my ED could affect my behavior and dictate the time I spend (or don't spend) with loved ones, I resent the ever-ugly hell out of that, my friends.
Anyway, food always goes a bit off on a trip, but I guess it was a success in proving to myself that I can not only survive a few days without working out, it didn't actually make me balloon or even put on an ounce. So there, ED. And I got right back on the wagon with food and have been sticking to mp faithfully all week.
So, I've put off updating because I didn't think I had anything to write about, and now I've written a book here. I am just over a week from my next trip to Tropical Field Site and CAN'T WAIT to escape to warmer climes! I feel like these days I am always either packing, unpacking, or both.
love y'all and happy Thursday!
I really stressed over this visit after I found out that M's family has been clued in to my ED. But it went okay. I volunteered us to bring a couple of things I was comfortable eating. As scary as the holidays may seem to be for people with EDs, I tend to handle Thanksgiving pretty well. It's way better than, say, traditional 4th of July food.
Despite the Arctic temperatures, we played some football and I made a good showing for myself, by the way. ;)
So that was Thanksgiving. Since I left for college I think I've only returned home for a single Thanksgiving with my own family, so I'm used to and usually fine with being alone that day. As comfortable as I am with that solitude, this was definitely the best Thanksgiving I've had in a long time, just for the slight victory of normalcy and the fact that I really like M's dad and brother (and M himself isn't bad either... ;p).
I stayed the weekend up there, flew home Monday. Usual recap of doing various things around the city and being spoiled rotten by doting boyfriend. He took me to pick out my very own coffee machine to keep at his house (he's not a coffee drinker), significant relationship milestone, no? ;p
We did some museums, saw Harry Potter, took a day trip to another city and got to have a lunch date with the fantabulous Amy, who is even cooler in real life, if you can possibly imagine that!
Oh and we went ice skating on Sunday, and despite not having worn skates in about 10 years I did NOT fall a single time!
That was both a fun and desperate outing, actually. I really struggled with lack of exercise on this trip, mostly because it was so bitterly cold outside, limited our usual outdoor walking to virtually nil, and we spent a lot of time in the car traveling between various states on a couple of days. I held up ok for the first couple of days, but was definitely getting anxious and uncomfortable about it by Saturday. I hate it when the ED takes over my personality and makes me quiet, edgy, and too much "inside your head", as M. says.
I put M. in a difficult position with that. He wants me to be happy and relaxed, so he tries to work in activities for us where possible (we did the skating, and he took us down to a nice river park on a sunny afternoon to brave the cold for a walk). But there is a fine line between accommodating and enabling, and I think he worries about where he's falling in that gray area. He's told me that if I am really having a hard time with the anxiety and want to use the rec center at his school, or go to a nearby gym on a guest pass, he's fine with that. On any trip longer than 4 days I think that would be best, not to do my usual whole daily routine but at least to have a token getting off my ass session... But anyway, I worry about putting him in a position like that, can't be easy. I guess what I mostly hate is that any part of my ED could affect my behavior and dictate the time I spend (or don't spend) with loved ones, I resent the ever-ugly hell out of that, my friends.
Anyway, food always goes a bit off on a trip, but I guess it was a success in proving to myself that I can not only survive a few days without working out, it didn't actually make me balloon or even put on an ounce. So there, ED. And I got right back on the wagon with food and have been sticking to mp faithfully all week.
So, I've put off updating because I didn't think I had anything to write about, and now I've written a book here. I am just over a week from my next trip to Tropical Field Site and CAN'T WAIT to escape to warmer climes! I feel like these days I am always either packing, unpacking, or both.
love y'all and happy Thursday!
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