Friend Therapy

Despite all of the wailing and gnashing of teeth that has gone on around here for the past couple of weeks, there is one rock in my life that never budges: I have the most amazing battalion of friends that a person could ever ask for. The distant ones are just a few clicks away via the net, and I do still have a small crew left in town after graduation.

So, yesterday did not have a very auspicious beginning. I woke up with the suffocating feeling of panic, a sky-is-falling type of sadness. And shame, for some reason. Have you ever been so upset that it's like your brain is white-hot, so it feels like your skull is tightening and melting from the inside out?

I ended up crying behind my sun glasses for 3 miles of G.'s morning walk yesterday, and by the end I was sobbing so hard that I literally had to sit down on a curb two blocks from my house because I couldn't breath.

Then I showered, Tweeted some news articles, and replied to an e-mail about research permits. Nothing to see here, folks, business as usual, just keep driving by. I choked down some breakfast to keep from passing out at work, and headed off to teach for the day. Literally drew blood on my arm pinching to keep from crying as I walked towards campus.

I texted a friend of mine on my way home at the end of the day, and, bless her heart, she immediately went into rescue mission mode. I do not meltdown (publicly), well, ever, so she intuited that this was bad. (Although I haven't assigned her a letter in my cast of characters, you have actually met this friend before, see here).

Half an hour later, she arrived at my door armed with a six pack of pomegranate Smirnoff, two pints of Ben & Jerry's (Half-Baked froyo for me, Chunky Monkey plus a bottle of extra Hershey syrup for her, have I mentioned she is my hero?), and the first two seasons of 30 Rock on DVD. She correctly surmised that I might need the alcohol to loosen up for the sweet stuff, and I was thankful for her foresight, because it worked.

So today, still many things weighing on my mind, but I think that a night of taking a break from myself and my thoughts was definitely needed.

Once again, thank you, Friend. And while I'm at it, thank you so much for the kind and understanding comments and e-mails I have gotten recently. I know I have been a big wad of No Fun stuck to the shoe of the blogosphere, and I am always so touched at the widsom and compassion from readers. Thank you, Friends.