Case 1: I was in the fitting room at Kohl's, and heard a woman in the stall next to me with a young daughter, she sounded like she was about four or five years old. The girl was just chattering away while her mom tried on clothes, and then I heard them start to leave:
Girl: Are we gonna buy that?
Mom: No, we're putting it back.
Girl: Why?
Mom: Because I didn't like how it fit.
Girl: But I thought you looked be-yoo-tiful!
Mom: Well I'm glad you did, but I didn't like it, no lunch for Mommy.
Case 2: After a morning of torture in clothing stores, I retired to Books-A-Million, my safe zone, where everything is guaranteed to fit. Except for when I saw two 12ish looking girls, both of them with the gangly, spaghetti-limbed figures typical of growth-spurting kids, poring over the latest edition of this really obnoxious book on calorie information and diet strategies (I don't want to list the exact title because I don't want to even give it any backwards promotion).
Girl 1: Oh my god, that is what I had for lunch yesterday?! Can it really have that many calories?
Girl 2: Ouch, you'll have to make up for that. It says here you have to do X sit-ups to work that off, and that's if you hadn't even eaten anything since then.
Arrggh. You can just see girls absorbing the information, processing, storing it away, referring back to it as they build their images of who they are and how they are supposed to fit into the world. They should be climbing trees, sneaking candy before dinner, and building forts or something.
I watched the movie Gia today, and noticed that Angelina Jolie had a much fuller figure in that movie, when she played a supermodel, than she has in any of her recent movies or media appearances. (Full-figured, of course, being relative). And that movie was made 11 years ago, before she had several babies.
I also watched a really sad documentary online, following an eight year old girl's journey through treatment for anorexia. I highly recommend it (I didn't find it triggering, and I'm having a hard time right now, but there is ALWAYS a potential for someone so please be cautious if you're struggling), see it here (h/t to Life, Love, Violin):
Watch Dana: The 8 Year Old Anorexic [Part 1] in Educational | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Watch Dana: The 8 Year Old Anorexic [Part 2] in Educational | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com
Sorry for such a gloomy post, I guess I have just been sitting on the sad observations today and needed an outlet. Some people are susceptible enough to EDs even without huge environmental triggers, what kind of environment are we creating for the next generation of women? I know this problem is common knowledge, it's not like I'm having profound and novel revelations here, I guess sometimes it just hits harder than others.
10 comments:
Wow, that was so sad. You could totally tell how scared she was the whole time that she would say or do the wrong thing. How confusing for a kid! I felt so bad for her when she was out with her parents and they were just watching her eat- they didn't even eat anything, what was that about?
As for as those situations you shared that you overheard, it's so hard to see/hear that happening and know that damage that is being caused and how prevalent it is. At work the other day I had a mother FREAK about her SIX year old daughter gaining ONE pound and I could hardly contain myself.
You're right, it is kind of depressing, but it's also important to try to help people be aware of how much all of these things are effecting people, particularly kids.
Hey- it's Kelly!
I hear this stuff all the time, and it really does make me sad. Young people have enough to deal with just growing up, and all these body pressures on top of it... and SO MANY MIXED MESSAGES! Agh!
It is always sad to hear those types of situations. Children are so much more perceptive than we give them credit for.
I had seen parts of that documentary before. It makes me wonder when children develop an ED so early in life how much greater the susceptibility to relapsing in the future is.
As for the movie Gia, I agree with you that Angelina did have a fuller figure then. If you look at a lot of the celebrities in general, you can see the trend from fuller figure back in the 80s/early 90s to slim/thin now.
I guess I just found it especially ironic that her supermodel figure was bigger than her post-pregnancy one. I watched The Silence of the Lambs the other day, and also noticed Jodie Foster was more filled out than she is now. And it really does look healthier.
A conversation I overheard between a 11ish year old girl and her mother in the dressing room at target the other day:
GIRL: Do you like it mom?
MOM: That is too small! You need a bigger size again? (raising her voice now) We are not buying anymore clothes until you stop needing a bigger size.
So sad.... I was furious. I wanted to take that mom aside and let her have it!
I'm working on writing an information book about school lunch nutrition for elementary schoolers - and holy moly is it hard! The language of "good for you" and "bad for you" is so ingrained in our society that avoiding it is a struggle.
It's so awkward when you're in public and you overhear something like that. There's nothing you can do if it's a stranger, but if someone I know starts making negative body comments, more and more now I speak up. That's the only way things are going to change.
That documentary was so sad! The way the mother kept talking about putting it behind them a "blip" in her childhood. Then there was the way the mum seemed to think it was inconvenient she would have to count her daughter's calories to make sure she gets enough. I feel very worried about the long term health and happiness of the little girl, and I just hope things work out for her.
oh my god, I see and hear such situations all the time, too, and it sickens me to the gut. my UNCLE, who KNOWS about my ED, even asked me to give her daughter, my cousin, some tips to diet! what the hell?!!
it's def a gloomy fact, but it IS the hard fact and I'm glad you're speaking out abt it.
and abt angeline jolie...she's getting uglier each day as she loses so much weight. I really do hope she doesn't have an ED...
It breaks my heart when I hear those kinds of things in public. I was SUCH a sensitive kid and I think, "Wow, if that kid is just one tenth as sensitive as I was, that will crush her." I also agree about Angelina. She used to be much healthier looking. Not sure what's going on there. I get sick of celebrities saying, "I just don't have time to eat right." Whatever!
These things are so sad, Cammy. About angelina - something I thought about once when looking at her in a premiere photo...when tall women (and perhaps tall actresses more than most) feel the societal pressure to be small and aim for those really low sizes, they seem unaware that a tall bone structure is a tall bone structure. I am not sure she can tell what she looks like. These women cannot physiologically be 'small'; if they starve away all fat stores they can only look like large skeletons. When she is fit like in Gia and Tomb Raider, she looks sexy, healthy and feminine. I hope she's ok, too.
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