Panel Discussion

There is a student-run eating disorder awareness organization group at my university that first started my sophomore year and has since developed many great programs on campus.  I was involved for a semester, but I was already involved in so many things that I didn't really have time for it, plus I was vacillating between various degrees of apathy about my own ED.   Also, the projects do tend to be a little Greek-focused (although by no means exclusive), and I'm not in a sorority, so sometimes I felt like I was minimally useful anyway.

Even though I'm not an active member, I've stayed on the mailling list and do try to attend when they have speakers and events, they did a great job with NEDAW last February, we had a top name speaker and it went really well considering it was the organization's first attempt developing the awareness week activities. 

So, tonight they are hosting a panel discussion with therapists and former patients from our state's major ED inpatient facility.  It is actually the place H. has been pushing me to go.   I am way to busy to go do anything (we had major rain last night and my ceiling is leaking, dealing with that on top of the 89374 other things I have to do right now, plus I have TWO huge exams tomorrow), but I am going to go to the discussion.  What can it hurt?  I am still 100% sure that I'm not going to enter an IP program, but I am intrigued and want to hear what they have to say.  

I always feel a little awkward going to ED events, looking around you can almost take it for granted that everyone there has dealt with an ED in some way, even if it is just through a loved one's experiences.  It's thought-provoking and disturbing to see, in living, breathing reality, the number and diversity of people that have this shit going on under the surface.  Could you guess they had a problem if you hadn't seen them in this context?  Sometimes yes, often no, and there is always that niggly voice wondering what they think when they see you there, trying to be proud of taking up the space you occupy, literally and figuratively--in both the room and the world,--while still wondering whether you deserve it. 

So, if it is especially interesting I'll have an update on it later.