H. doesn't give me homework very often, but this week my challenge is to go through those pictures and find ones where I am doing really cool things, and post those in the places I usually put my field photos (when I am not repulsed by how I look in them, at least). The idea is for me to focus on what I was doing, the experience, instead of how chubby my cheeks look. Is an adventure any less cool or thrilling of you weigh X or X+Y? No, or at least it shouldn't be.
Anyway, just wanted to share that little exercise, in case anyone else might find it, or at least the idea behind it, to be somewhat useful.
2 comments:
Good assignment. I'm glad you're willing to do it. It can be a good thing to focus on the experience versus how we look in them.
In regards to your other post about H's theory about why you don't like the photos. I think, at least, way subconsciously, there could be a possible trace of that. I have a friend who was abused by her mother and absolutely gets fearful (essentially refuses) when she approaches her mother's weight which is slightly underweight for her height.
So you're right that you don't link these associations on any daily basis, but things can get deeply ingrained even when we don't know it.
Hi cammy - very creative assignment, I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes.
I understand completely about the one-part-of-your-body "imperfection" focus. For me it's my stomach. I know that logically, if I lost another five pounds, I'd look pretty gross, yet my stomach is so awful to me...so imperfect and chubby. It seems so unfair that the rest of me can look the way society says it should look and that I can't just remove fat from that one area and have the rest of me stay the same. I don't know the recipe for acceptance just yet...sometimes I find comfort in thinking about other women I love and knowing that logically, they have aesthetic imperfections here and there as well, but that I love them so much my perception of each of them is that of the whole person, and that therefore each visual "flaw" is subconsciously turned into a positive attribute in my mind because I love the whole so much. I can only assume and pray others do the same thing when they think of us, and therefore would not even notice a change or what we see as a new flaw in our minds.
About the family noticing/commenting on weight, why embarrassment? Wouldn't they be overjoyed and proud to see you a bit fuller? My family and friends make such negative comments about my body when I'm at my thinnest, that I am embarrassed to see them at those times. They would be joyful to see me a slight bit fuller. Would your family not be equally happy? Sending love your way...
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