If anyone doubts that hell can freeze over, let them try living with an eating disorder. For a long time, possibly the biggest factor impacting my quality of life was COLD. Forget the hunger pains, heart palpitations, stress fractures, etc . . . but holy shit I hate being cold. When I go to the doctor, it's common for the nurse to take my temperature two or three times because she's sure it can't really be as low as the thermometer says. Cold is terrible. It seeps into your system, wraps around your bones, grips your whole being in this cruel torturous grasp that squeezes you at the same time it permeates throughout your body like some kind of frigid poison. I can remember times that I have literally broken down and cried because I was so debilitatingly cold.
It is no accident that I picked a university in an area were it's common for temps to be in the 70's over Christmas and people literally take pictures when their car windshields frost (about twice a year). BUT it does get chilly sometimes (yes, "chilly" is relative, people here bundle up like they're heading for the Iditarod when it dips below 60), and the past few mornings it has really started to feel like fall. ACK, Jack Frost is coming to commence with the annual ass-kicking that is winter.
Thus, a new reason to appreciate the pounds I have put on and the general improvements in my physiology over the past few months. I have an exam on mammalian metabolism tomorrow, so even studying has given me time to contemplate the fact that allowing my body to function like a real human seems to be pretty rewarding. Am I ready to swim the English Channel? No way. I still get cold faster than most of my friends, and I still make sure I always have a sweatshirt or sweater with me no matter how hot it is outside (public buildings are ridiculously over air-conditioned), but it's slowly getting better and isn't anywhere near as dominating as it used to be. Part of it is poundage and part of it is just a revved up metabolism, a reminder that taking care of my body affects both form and function.
So, today's things to be thankful for:
~Walking G. on a crisp fall morning and feeling invigorated by the chill, not completely dominated by it.
~No longer having icy fingers and a purplish tint to my nailbeds, even indoors.
~Hair that is slowly regaining shine and sheen, so it isn't a completely dry frizzball now that the summer humidity has retreated.
~Studying in the arboretum with J. in the evening, letting the air cool around us as the sun sets but being more aware of each other than the falling temperature.
~Bending down to tie my shoe, resting my cheek on my leg and feeling the heat coming off of my skin.
My heat, that my body makes out of fuel that I give to it. Power, anyone?
5 comments:
Cold is AWFUL. My roommates like to keep the place around 60! And there was frost on car windshields yesterday. Thus far the weight I've gained this summer hasn't helped much in the way of insulating me.
Rock ON, Cammy. I hear you on the cold thing. I still get colder much more easily than anyone else, but it's not like before.
--Carrie
Lisa: Ack, I can never understand it when people insist on playing freeze-out in their own homes. I guess it's good I've never had a roommate because they would probably roast, I keep my thermostat on 86 in the summer. I'm not sure which has more effect, adding a little bit of weight or just the metabolic shift, but it is definitely a nice change.
Carrie: Same here, I'm still the first to gripe about being chilled but it's nowhere near the level of misery that it was in the past...
I loved this post. Mainly b/c this weekend I ate out at a restaurant and always get cold after eating (guess my metabolism is kicked into gear or something). I practically RAN out of the restaurant and turned on the heater, full blast, in the car while my dh paid for the bill.
Oh, and I live in the Southwest, where the weather's been in the 90's this past weekend. Pathetic - I need to get me some power, too!!!
I hear you on the cold. During my latest excursions, visiting my folks and the conference last week, I've felt like I was living in an icebox literally! Last week, I had no less than three layers on in the hotel and still remained cold. It's not as bad as before but it's still enough to feel uncomfortable.
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