Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Perceptual Shortcomings

This food-boost thing has been a really interesting illustration of just how crazy body perception can be.  I woke up yesterday morning already feeling disgusting and inflated just at the prospect of having to eat that much food over the course of the incipient day.  

 I am totally aware that it's not logical and that it's just my anxiety manifesting, but I'm still crawling out of my skin even though I haven't even worked my way up to adding the entire amount in a day yet. 

It's also a good example of just how routine dependent I am.  I've been pretty low stress about food for a while now, but toss a wrench into my norm and my brain can't decide whether to explode or implode (although I bet the latter involves less of a mess).

Happy Wednesday. :/ Love y'all.

4 comments:

Alie said...

I'm sorry it's rough-going. It's always difficult to break from routine. Hopefully if you can push past the yucky feelings (super tough, I know!), you can just do the calorie increase and hopefully after a while it'll feel less stressful. Wish I had more words of wisdom, but this is something I really struggle with in the first few days following a boost as well. Good luck, and take care!

Arielle Bair, MSW, LSW said...

Glad to be back in the fold. :-) Sorry I don't comment much... I do read - but I often read on the go... or I save up all my blog-reading-time for like a bi-monthly sitting and just read a million posts at once! In any case, you're in my thoughts. :-)

Laura said...

I know it's hard... maybe think about the person you want to end up being and just do it? Even though you understand the anxiety, it doesn't make it easier - as you know... but instead of focusing on NOT freaking out, try to focus on something else. Focus on the person youw ant to be. Focus on taste. Focus on conversation. Try to think of a different focus. The more you think about/talk about your body anxiety, the more you'll reinforce those anxiety circuits (I think?)... so it might help to accept the fat-feelings and to shrug your shoulders and then put your intention and your focus on something else. I know - crazy hard - but you can do it. It might be so hard that the hardness of it all will consume your whole day, but that's how you end up making progress... by doing things that are THAT hard. You can do it!

Laura said...

Hmm... still thinking.... would it help to attempt to see this skin-crawling feeling in a positive light? Can you visualize the feeling seeping into your body and comforting you? Can you change the way you relate to it so that you and "it" are on the same side? (I say this because those are tactics that helped me and still help me if I have a skin-crawling can't stand it sort of day).