Believe it or not, I actually challenged myself both food and exercise-wise today. Maybe doing both in the same day was a mistake, I have a bad, bad case of the Bad Body ooglies tonight. Why does my mind make everything so damn difficult?
I am not going to gain ten pounds overnight, and even if I did put on weight after altering a couple of things--which feel major to me in the moment but admittedly minor in the grand energy balance of my week--that's what I'm *supposed* to be doing. Or at least that's what I've been trying to tell myself all afternoon/evening. Get a grip Cammy, and do it fast because feeling like this really sucks.
5 comments:
Oh Cammy,
I undersand the hardness an uncomfortableness, but wanted to say: well done!
As my psychologist keeps saying to me- it's just like ripping off a band-aid- do you want to do it quickly or slowly? Both hurt, but doing it slowly only prolongs the pain and allows me to get more anxious as I anticipate the next step.
The challenge now is to get some sleep, and tomorrow to challenge yourself again and keep taking little steps in the right direction.
Stick it out! I KNOW.
Just .... naps? heating pad? books? Anything to make you feel OK or better in the moment without ED behavior. That's what I try and do. That's why I am not saying "take a walk" LOl...
Hang in there. CONGRATULATE YOURSELF!
It's hard, but one of the most helpful things anyone said to me when I was still in the weight restoration/behaviour cessation stage of recovery was, if I was comfortable with my meal plan or activity level, it wasn't helping me to recover. It was true too, if I wasn't crawling out of my skin with anxiety I generally wouldn't have made any progress that week. Anxiety is GOOD, it's a good sign. The goal is to stick with the anxiety and learn better ways of coping with it, rather than to get rid of it.
If there was an easier way eating disorders wouldn't be such bitches to get rid of :(
I wish I could say something that would help. Doesn't the fact that others see your body now and know something is wrong give you ooglies, too? Maybe you could try to concentrate more on the goal - a strong, attractive, healthy-ranged body - and not let yourself look in the mirror? xoxo
YOU effing ROCK my FACE OFF!!!!
Something I've learned already this morning: The goal is not to do it without fear/anxiety/uncomfortable/bad feelings. The goal is just to DO IT.
And you are. You so totally are. Keep sitting the feelings out. Keep going. Here's to another great day today!
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