It should be noted that I have MAJOR needle anxiety, I have never even had my ears pierced. And Mr. Tattoo Artist wouldn't let J. hold my hand, because he said any move J. made would make me move too, and you no want to be doing moving when the ink needle is in you.
Yes, I got the idea and design for a recovery tattoo from Thin, but I really like the symbol, which is actually the NEDA logo. I got mine in blue, instead of red and purple, because that has always been a peaceful color for me. I had originally planned to get it on my 21st birthday, over a year ago, but at that point I was pretty entrenched in the ED, and I thought I would have felt like a hypocrite. I wanted it to have meaning, so I decided to hold off until I actually had some progress and accomplishments to symbolize. I am still struggling day-to-day, but the general trend is definitely forward, and I have no plans to go back.
And yes, it HURT LIKE HELL. Because it's small and simple it went fast, so there wasn't really time for the endorphins to kick in. But I tried to think of it as "pain with a purpose." A little bit of pain as a reminder of a lot more pain that I am working hard to reconcile and leave in the past.
(Note: I didn't realize until I uploaded the pics that my panty strap was twisted. Sigh. Even when I am feeling profound I still manage to goof things up, oh well. Make the twisted strap into its own metaphor if you wish, c'est la vie).
7 comments:
Cammy, wow! I think it is great you did this for yourself. It's kind of like a symbol of your pain and struggle but a symbol of inspiration towards the future. At least this is how I see it.
And actually, I didn't even notice your panty strap was twisted until you mentioned it. ;-)
That's beautiful! A couple of times I've thought about getting a "recovery tattoo," but I'm not sure if it's just because I've always wanted a tattoo. And I have no idea what I would get. But yours looks amazing.
you are one brave girl!! kudos!
Congrats on facing your needle fears and getting it done. That's quite brave. :) I think the tattoo looks awesome.
Ha Ha - I had to check your pic to to see what was twisted. Nice leopard print...but besides that all, I applaud you for going through with something you deemed as purposeful towards your recovery process.
Thanks everyone! I was worried that I would somehow mess it up during the healing process, but so far it is doing well and I am really happy with it. Thanks for all the nice comments, this was a pretty significant thing for me, mentally, I appreciate the support. :)
As an enthusiastic tattoo fan (and builder of her own "tattoo collection"), I think this rocks. A design with such tremendous personal meaning, one that you've wanted for some time, is one you won't regret, I suspect. Enjoy!
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