Observations, musings, and general ramblings on the path towards recovery from anorexia.
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Tired
I'm having a rough go of it, y'all. It's been one of those weeks where I really question whether I'm capable of ever having anything except this life. I'm tired.
I'm really sorry to read this! Chalk it up to just one of those weeks, not a prediction of forever. You ARE capable of taking hold of your life and living it in a way that will make you happiest and healthiest. Hope you can get some rest and regain a little bit of hope. And text/call/e-mail me if I can do anything!
^ What Alie said. Really sorry you are having a bad week. My worst, darkest times have come when I start thinking about "forever" - what if I feel like this forever? What if things never get any better? A little time and perspective always helps. You have a LOT of life left to live, and I promise it will be more than this. Hang in there.
I so understand what you mean. I am having one of those weeks too, well in reality I'm coming into my second year of active relapse and depression. I can't see a way forward even though I know there is one.
I sometimes think of you and all the progress that you have made. You're inspirational and I believe that if a happy life is possible, you can do it.
I hope you don't mind me saying this but I was so sorry to hear about your G. passing. I just adopted a beautiful rescue puppy. Perhaps naively I thought that she would help me to heal. While making the decision to adopt her, I was thinking about having read about you and your G. It will be hard for me to have her because it will only be me looking after her, but you managed to do that. It's hard to train her and I get upset when she doesn't want me to pick her up and hug her, even though I know that's only natural and that they need space. I worry that she doesn't love me. I know that's depressive thinking and kind of ridiculous. Can I ask you if you think I made the right decision?
I really hope you don't mind me asking this and I don't mean to burden you in anyway.
I really empathise with how you're feeling and hope things improve soon.
Hi Sarah, First of all, thank you for your condolences about G. I know this sounds silly, but he was one of the loves of my life and even a couple of months later I still cry about him at least once a day.
Next, congrats on your addition and thank you for deciding to get a dog from a rescue! How long have you had her? The bonding definitely will not happen overnight. I'm not sure how much you know about her previous life, but she may have had some experiences that haven't allowed her to learn yet that humans can be sources of comfort and love. Dogs are way more accepting than humans, but it still takes them time to feel comfortable with a person. The first three months are really an adjustment period, so don't feel like you've made a mistake just because things aren't feeling great right away...it can be challenging to manage caring for a dog all on your own if you're busy, but that one-on-one bond that develops is also incredibly rewarding. Just give both yourself and your pup some time, I'm sure you'll get closer and closer as time goes on.
I've had my puppy for about three weeks now, she's only about ten weeks old and had spent some time in vet hospital and had a broken leg which was just nearly healed when I got her. It was part of why I loved her from right away because we were both a bit broken. But I know that those experiences mean that it everything is probably a bit more difficult for her and hopefully she will adjust in time.
You were in my thoughts while I was adopting her and you are now too, I hope things get easier soon.
5 comments:
I'm really sorry to read this! Chalk it up to just one of those weeks, not a prediction of forever. You ARE capable of taking hold of your life and living it in a way that will make you happiest and healthiest. Hope you can get some rest and regain a little bit of hope. And text/call/e-mail me if I can do anything!
^ What Alie said. Really sorry you are having a bad week. My worst, darkest times have come when I start thinking about "forever" - what if I feel like this forever? What if things never get any better? A little time and perspective always helps. You have a LOT of life left to live, and I promise it will be more than this. Hang in there.
Hi Cammy, I hope you don't mind me posting.
I so understand what you mean. I am having one of those weeks too, well in reality I'm coming into my second year of active relapse and depression. I can't see a way forward even though I know there is one.
I sometimes think of you and all the progress that you have made. You're inspirational and I believe that if a happy life is possible, you can do it.
I hope you don't mind me saying this but I was so sorry to hear about your G. passing. I just adopted a beautiful rescue puppy. Perhaps naively I thought that she would help me to heal. While making the decision to adopt her, I was thinking about having read about you and your G. It will be hard for me to have her because it will only be me looking after her, but you managed to do that. It's hard to train her and I get upset when she doesn't want me to pick her up and hug her, even though I know that's only natural and that they need space. I worry that she doesn't love me. I know that's depressive thinking and kind of ridiculous. Can I ask you if you think I made the right decision?
I really hope you don't mind me asking this and I don't mean to burden you in anyway.
I really empathise with how you're feeling and hope things improve soon.
love,
Sarah-J. x
Hi Sarah,
First of all, thank you for your condolences about G. I know this sounds silly, but he was one of the loves of my life and even a couple of months later I still cry about him at least once a day.
Next, congrats on your addition and thank you for deciding to get a dog from a rescue! How long have you had her? The bonding definitely will not happen overnight. I'm not sure how much you know about her previous life, but she may have had some experiences that haven't allowed her to learn yet that humans can be sources of comfort and love. Dogs are way more accepting than humans, but it still takes them time to feel comfortable with a person. The first three months are really an adjustment period, so don't feel like you've made a mistake just because things aren't feeling great right away...it can be challenging to manage caring for a dog all on your own if you're busy, but that one-on-one bond that develops is also incredibly rewarding. Just give both yourself and your pup some time, I'm sure you'll get closer and closer as time goes on.
Take care and treat yourself kindly,
C.
Thank you so much for your reply Cammy.
I've had my puppy for about three weeks now, she's only about ten weeks old and had spent some time in vet hospital and had a broken leg which was just nearly healed when I got her. It was part of why I loved her from right away because we were both a bit broken. But I know that those experiences mean that it everything is probably a bit more difficult for her and hopefully she will adjust in time.
You were in my thoughts while I was adopting her and you are now too, I hope things get easier soon.
Best wishes,
Sarah. xx
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