Readjusting

Hey y'all. I'm working on getting settled in; jetlag is still kicking my ass, but I'm starting to feel more human. I hate that I've done NOTHING productive (in terms of school and other writing work) since I've been back, but I just haven't felt up to it. I have caught up on a lot of HBO, though . . . *cringe*

I'm staying with my family for a week before I fly up to visit Match, and it's been so nice to get time with people I love again. Not to mention my beloved G.! I am really lucky to have such an awesome family that I like to spend time with.

I was at pretty high elevation in Tropical Research Country (although not quite as high as where I live in PhD Town during the fall semester), and once again I'm realizing just how much elevation affects my appetite and seems to numb me to energy deficits. I've actually boosted my calories a bit since I've been back, relative to what I was eating last week in TRC, and I am still FAMISHED all of the time. I'm in that mode where I am somehow hungrier after dinner than I was before. It happens every time I come down in elevation from TRC or PhD Town, but it's always weird and frustrating.

I'm trying to listen to it, though...the first day I was back, my mom mentioned that she could tell I'd lost a significant amount of weight in TRC, and I kind of blew her off. I have a hard time seeing gradual changes, and I figured I'd dropped a tiny bit (judging by belt/pants fit) but nothing serious. Then I weighed myself and realized she was right. I'm not sure how much it shows in photos, but I lost more than I'd expected, and really do need to work on gaining it back.

So of course now there's that jump from realizing that intellectually and putting it into practice. I've shaved down my exercise time (still a lot of room for progress on that front, though...) and boosted my calories a bit. I'm doing those mind games with trying to rationalize everything (freaking out about a weeklong road trip with Mom next month and somehow telling myself I need to "save up" energy surplus for that), when really I just need to suck it up and do it.  Anyway, work in progress. If I had a dollar for every time I'd said that on this blog . . .

But this time I'm 100% aware and accepting of what I need to do, and am motivated to get myself restored a bit so that I can enjoy the rest of the summer with Match and my family and be in a position to rock the next semester. I leave to visit Match on Saturday, and his city has tons of cool restaurants, grocery stores like Trader Joe's, and other stuff that will hopefully help. I'm honestly just not that into food, but I like novelty and trying new things, so having options around like that is a way to boost motivation to be liberal with my eating.

I'm also just readjusting to culture. Americans are loud, man. LOUD and entitled. And the first time I walked into a grocery store it was WAY overwhelming. Do you realize how much FOOD we have? Not just that things are always in stock (a constant problem at the market in TRC) but that we have not just everything, but twelve different varieties of everything???

It's still blowing my mind. I have to wonder: with all the intellectual, economic, and infrastructural resources at our disposal in this country, surely there could have been something more productive and consequential than developing the sixth variety of Cap'n Crunch cereal? Really, five wasn't enough? There was absolutely nothing more important to invest in?  Okay I'm going to stop preaching, but things like that have really been weighing on my mind since I've been back.

Still wrapping up some interpersonal stuff that happened in TRC . . . people are complicated, man.

Anyway, that's the update to cover the past few days. I love TRC but it's nice to be back. Have I mentioned that I have the best most awesome dog in the world? I'm in awe of G. all over again every time I return to him.