Oh hi there, would you believe there's finally an update? Things here have been hella busy--my schedule here is the total opposite of during my Masters, when I often only went to campus about once a week. Now I average about 11 hours on campus each day, with about 13-14 on Wednesdays when things are extra packed. And you know what? I am LOVING it. I really like my lab, the people in my classes, the profs I interact with, etc. I volunteered for a couple of different committees, joined a non-academic club on campus, and am teaching a class for my adviser while he's gone for the next two weeks. I'm learning a ton and finally feel productive and purposeful, which does absolute wonders for my general satisfaction with life.
I even went out this weekend and did some very social, non-routine things, and had a blast. You know, I have spent so much of the last few years being pretty wrapped up in routines and/or depressed and isolated, and I sometimes forget that I'm actually really good at being social and enjoy people quite a bit. I actually went to a bar where there was dancing . . . and DANCED. Do you know how long that's been, y'all? Random: turned out that one of the girls dancing with us was my PhD adviser's wife, they're young enough to blend right in with the grad students (his band was playing at the bar, he's good!). Success.
Food: Remember how I mentioned that the climate here absolutely decimates my appetite? Well apparently I've adjusted, because all of the sudden it was back last week. No gradual reappearance, everything was just like it had been since I'd moved here, and then on Friday I stood up from lunch and had an odd sensation. I was hungry. No, not hungry, all of the sudden my body was in ZOMG FEED ME FEED ME I'M HAWNGRY FEED ME mode. I'm guessing anyone who has ever gone through refeeding knows what I mean. Gah. I guess it's a good sign, though.
Exercise: I've done a much better job compensating for the extra walking here, but really do need to start working on tamping down from that baseline formal workout time. With my current workload those hours REALLY would be better spent on my data, papers, etc, and I'm trying to keep that in mind as a motivator.
Weight: A post or two ago I mentioned I'd been doing weigh-ins at the gym 2-3 times a week. I have actually weighed myself only about once since then, and not at all in the past 10 days or so. I think that since I've been trying to get the exercise under control more I'm bracing myself for the numbers to start going up again, and frankly I just don't want to know. Too many other things that I need to fit into my mindspace right now.
Boy: So, the last time I wrote I was in existential crisis mode about what to do with Match. I have to say I'm still confused but less so. The whole failed breakup attempt did air some issues that needed to be dealt with, so that was good, and we've been trying some other things to feel more connected, which I think are working. I know I go back and forth on this and it probably seems incredibly stupid. Things have at least been calm over the past week and we've been getting along. We're planning our next visit and I'm genuinely excited to see him...he really is my best friend. We'll see how things play out. He found a couple's therapist that is willing to do Skype sessions and wants us to try her out. I'm not so sure, and he's not pushing, but it's on the radar at least.
I hope everyone's week is off to a great start. I'm so zapped at the end of each day that I haven't has the energy to post as much, but I appreciate you ladies and really hope you're all doing okay.
love y'all
3 comments:
Hey there! I'm happy to hear that you are enjoying your PhD program and even getting out and having some fun. That's key, I think, to being able to tamp down some of the formal exercise. You sounds super busy, but in a good, affirming way. That's wonderful. I'm also glad to hear that you are feeling somewhat calmer about things with M.
So glad you're enjoying the PhD program so much! And the social life stuff is awesome. I think it's really great that you're getting out there and doing some really fun stuff...and even liking it! Congrats for putting yourself out there for these opportunities!
Glad the appetite is back! I'm sure it was very frustrating to try to continue eating normally when you just weren't hungry at all. Hopefully this will make WR easier on you. Good luck with the next challenge around working out, I know you can do it!
I'm with you on the weight thing; once I can detach myself from the scale a little bit, I just don't even want to reintroduce the number obsession into my life. Kudos to you for backing off on the weighing!
Glad things are improving with Match, and that you guys have gotten things out in the open more. I hope things continue to go well!
Yay for being busy and social and dancing! Really glad you're having such a great time, you deserve it! It's also great that you've gotten a healthy appetite back, even though it can get irritating to be hungry all the time. Hopefully that will make the weight restoration process a little more manageable.
Can't even express how awesome it is that you're loosening up on the weighing habit. That is such a hugely compulsive ED habit and SO hard to break out of. I'm blown away by how well you're doing!
As for Match, sounds like a tough situation but at least you guys are more on the same page now. Keep us posted, you deserve to get everything you want out of a relationship!
Post a Comment