My weight hasn't changed much, but I still feel like I'm steeling myself for a gauntlet here. Possibly because I always get a huge wave of anxiety and just generalized "the world is falling"ness right before a trip. I also have a particularly bad record with managing ED stuff when I'm at conferences. Sometimes I do shitty during the conference, other times I hold out and do decently, only to way over-compensate afterwards. I am trying VERY hard to be aware of that propensity and not repeat the cycle next week.
I will have a roommate at the conference, which is unusual for me. But this time I just couldn't afford the luxury of hermitage. This could work for or against me: it will prevent me from spending all night exercising in my room. But there is a fitness center at the hotel. On the other hand, it will also make me more self-conscious about eating in the room, because my normal pattern is to pack along what I can. But that could be a benefit if it means I am more likely to go out to eat with my roomie, like a (gasp) normal person.
So basically, how it plays out is up to me.
Anyway, all of that to get to the point that this stress over the clothing is just the easiest way to manifest the anxiety I usually have over leaving my comfort zone.
On to face the closet.
5 comments:
I think you're exactly right -- stress over the clothing is just the easiest way to manifest the anxiety you usually have over leaving your comfort zone. I will fixate on the strangest things sometimes -- clothing, yes. Food, yes. But, also, I freak out wondering where I will park, how I will sleep, etc. Good luck with the conference! I hate leaving my comfort zone too, but whenever I do, I gain a little confidence. I honestly can't say it makes it easier the next time, but it does give me a little smile. I'll be thinking of you ;)
Good luck! I hope that it does all go well :)
xo
I feel that way every morning when getting dressed (as if I might have somehow totally changed size over night).
Good luck at the conference. I hope you are able to have fun and be present. I think knowing yourself well will come in handy here. Push yourself to do "normal" things with food and exercise to the extend that you know it won't throw you off track. Don't push yourself so hard that you become too likely to over compensate when you get back. Try to find that balance between comfort/discomfort that you will be able to handle. You know what I mean? There is a certain level of discomfort that you actually can handle. You'll be okay. It'll be different and scary and you'll think about it a lot, but you can do it. Then there's a deeper level of discomfort that you probably can't handle - that will cause you to compensate or totally withdraw into your head while you're there. If you have enough self knowledge to know the difference between these two levels of discomfort, try to stay out of the deep discomfort and in the I-can-handle-it-discomfort.
How long will you be gone?
i frequently wear the same outfit several days in a row because I can't face the task of finding something new to wear. i hate clothes.
So do you get to saty in a hotel with a pool?
thinking of you, Cammy! you can do it. you don't need the excess exercise, you know you don't.
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