I'm starting to get blogger's guilt for not updating for a while, but I haven't really had much to say. Pretty much 'same old same old' around here I suppose. I feel like this entire semester is just a holding pattern in which I putter around keeping myself busy while I wait to find out what direction my life will go in next (meaning where I will be moving for my PhD).
Anyway, an unplanned guilt post means you get randoms:
--My sleep has been screwy this week. I am usually one of the world's most consistent sleepers (fall asleep between 11-12, wake up 6:00-6:15 with no alarm), but the other night I randomly just got up and surfed the web, texted with a friend on the west coast, etc from 2:00-4:30, then was wide awake at 5:30 again. I guess I had a lot on my mind. That was Saturday, and then last night Match and I had a blow-up fight (we have them infrequently but I hate them more than anything when they happen) that had me up til 1 again. I feel like I should have passed out by now, as it's almost midnight again, but behold, the wonder of caffeine.
--The fight picked up again this morning, and I am 100% convinced neither of us could have told you what started the spat in the first place, it was that ridiculous. I think one reason they tend to drag out for us is that we have very different coping strategies. After we have said what we need to say and are not in inflammatory mode, I *need* alone time to cool off and repair myself (note that this is after we've hashed it out and are aimed towards making up, I don't withdraw in the midst of a discussion). I will definitely get over it, but I need to do that in private, and then I'm happy to re-engage and be back to normal. He, on the other hand, doesn't want to disengage until he's convinced everything is completely fine and happy. Which, if you are dealing with someone who has to have some recharge time to be okay, is an exercise in futility and frustration on both sides. I don't think either way is right or wrong, they are just glaringly incompatible when coupled. Participatory prompt: do you need alone time to get over an argument?
--In evaluating what my lifestyle will probably be like for at least the next few years (lots of time in Third World countries), I've convinced myself that I really need Lasix, for myriad reasons related to hygiene and convenience. I can't figure out how I'd pay for it, though, and honestly the idea of anyone doing anything to my eyes really scares me. Participatory prompt #2: has anyone out there had Lasix, and if so how was the recovery, are you happy with results?
--I love that even though my dog is showing his age more and more, he still acts like a puppy when his favorite squeaky tennis ball is brought out. It's one of those little things that is guaranteed to make me smile no matter what kind of day I'm having. Participatory prompt #3: Tell me something cute that your dog does? Or your cat, or your kid, or whatever other small animal that might be living in your house.
--I really wish I lived within reasonable visiting distance of any of my friends from college or high school. I've been pretty lonely lately.
--I got to teach a couple of classes for my adviser when he was out sick last week, LOVED it. I really get a great feeling from explaining things and convincing bored college students of how kickass my little corner of science is.
--I think it's time for Ryan Gosling to make a new movie, I need a fix.
--According to today's page on my Page-A-Day trivia calendar (nerd alert), it takes 100 gallons of water to grow the average watermelon? Which is approximately how much I always have to pee after eating watermelon...the cycle suddenly makes sense.
--I always, always have a Page-A-Day calendar and at least 2 wall calendars for any given year.
I'm starting to feel at risk of face-planting on the keyboard, so I better sign off. Hope Monday treated everyone well, love y'all.
5 comments:
Probably the hardest part of my nanny gig is trying to find resolution in my anger/frustration without walking away (or holding a grudge). The cycle of emotions with a kid is so rapid-fire that there's no time for cooling off like I usually do or engaging in petty retribution (which isn't my best personality trait, so it's one I would well be rid of).
I definitely need alone time after a fight, not just for cooling off and processing, but also to recover from any embarrassment/awkwardness if the fight was about something dumb. The long distance thing must make the coping differences even harder to reconcile for you and Match - although I do think it's still helpful to take some time to decompress from a fight.
Lasix - I've never had it, but my uncle did and was very happy with the results. One negative I've heard is that it causes reduced tear production - I already have extreme dry eye to begin with, which pretty much makes Lasix out of the question, but that might not be a concern for you.
Over the past couple years, I've had MAJOR vision issues so I definitely understand your hesitation to mess with your eyes. Have you tried daily disposable contacts? I just switched and they're so much easier.
After my husband and I have a fight, we don't necessarily need alone time, but we do need to cool off. Sometimes, we'll just sit in the silence for a bit or watch a little TV so that we can breath. It's so hard to think rationally when you're heated in the moment of anger and frustration, so it's definitely okay to take time for yourself to breathe and reflect on what just happened.
Yes, I too would like another Ryan Gosling movie. Please, Ryan?!
-Emily
My animals do too many cute things to even mention! Animals are great. OK, one great thing was how one of my cats turned into a nurse when I came home from the hospital Friday. She HAD to be on me almost 24/7, purring and snuggling. It was so sweet! But I know you're a dog person -- well I picked up my dog yesterday and she was so happy to see me that she kept jumping up and down. So cute. I have been feeling the animal lovin' lately, that's for sure!
I haven't had Lasik but know many people that have that say it was awesome and worth it. It freaks me out too, but hey, that's what sedatives are for! How much does it cost these days?
Participatory prompt: do you need alone time to get over an argument? - D and I switch on and off on who wants to talk until the issue is solved and who wants to just go to bed/go for a walk/go for a drive until they're cooled off. I'm kinda jealous that you guys have consistent roles/coping styles! It is so hard heat of the moment how I'm feeling, how he's feeling, and how to politely communicate what I need when it's different each time.
I think it is REALLY awesome that you have identified your coping style...apparently, now you both just need to work on making sure the other person really gets it and coming up with a phrase that reaffirms both positions and jogs the other person's memory when tension is high...like "I want to keep talking through this because I really care about you and want to find resolution. We will get to the bottom of this and continue to discuss it until we are both happy, but in order for me to look at the situation clearly I need an hour long time out" or something. That's my suggestion anyway!
#3 - Java jumps for joy whenever I get home and sulks in her bed whenever I leave. It's so adorable.
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