So I'm currently at a conference, which brings all the challenges and stresses of travel and trying to appear sane around other professionals and potential advisers/employers.
The first day was hard, mainly because it was LONG (several time zone changes) and I spent a big chunk of it on airplanes. I ended up really dehydrated and was up for almost 23 hours straight. And at the social event that kicked off the conference that night, there was almost no food and lots of alcohol, which meant my intent to do well with dinner was shot, since I didn't want to venture out into the city after dark by myself looking for food.
BUT I've been trying to do better. I am sort of testing this intuitive eating thing, but really don't think my body/mind are ready for it. Basically, my body wants food ALWAYS and more of it, and my mind is not okay with that. It's weird, I don't really get hungry between my 3 standard meals at home, but I guess the time change plus being released from my normal environment has made my system think it can go haywire.
Anyway, I have faced down some challenges though. Have had bigger and earlier breakfasts than usual, snacks between meals (since my non-breakfast meals tend to be smaller when I'm not at home) and have had two (TWO) non-salad restaurant lunches in a row now. And yesterday's was from a street vendor with no nutrition info (estimating isn't hard, but still, it's a bit nerve-wracking). So those are WINS. But I just finished one of those lunches, plus a granola bar, and am still famished. My body and I are mutually antagonistic sometimes I suppose. "Intuitivity" is not my strong point, apparently.
Anyway have experiences/advice to share about getting stupid body signals balanced?
Anyway, that's that. The weather here is beautiful and I've had time to walk around exploring, so that helps with the exercise anxiety.
Getting some good leads on profs and am presenting some of my own research on Tuesday.
My lab/rommate is very obese, and I really don't know how to handle it when she makes cracks about her weight. She really doesn't even eat that much, she's just one of those people that got the slow metabo genes. Anyway, I'm glad she can joke about it but I never really know the right feedback to give in that situation. It's not like she doesn't know she's fat, but I'm not going to laugh at her for it even when she's the one that made the joke, you know?
Anyway, adios mis amores.
9 comments:
Intuitive is hard. Trust me, i know. You can power through it. one day it won't be so hard... one day it will just come to you.
xoxo
-Lisa
www.coupdegrace88.blogspot.com
Intuitive eating IS hard, I totally agree with you there! I couldn't do it until I was fully weight restored, and it took me a long time to learn what hunger felt like. I still get confused now, sometimes, and I've been at it for eighteen months. For instance, if I'm really anxious I don't get hungry, and obviously I can't stop eating every time I get anxious, because I'd never eat (which is a rather good description of how my anorexia happened). Hot weather also stops me from being hungry, and not sleeping well makes me more hungry. I don't mind going with "more hungry", but I can't afford to lose weight and put myself at risk of relapse, so my idea of intuitive eating is basically "eat when hungry, but if not hungry eat at least every 3 hours or else" :P
Eh, it works for me.
I think it is so hard to intuitively eat when everything screams at us to go against it. Maybe you could think of it more as honoring your body, and giving it what it is asking for, even if that is more food than you think you "should" be eating. If your body is always wanting food right now, then it probably needs all of that food. As an anorexic that is difficult to honor. It sounds like you are really working at it though, and that is awesome. You have had some great wins!
As
I have no idea how to eat intuitive. The comments on facebook like: "I think I will have third dinner tonight, because I can't study anymore" or my sister sleeping until lunch and than having breakfast always makes me feel like I am 6 time a day eating-robot and won't never be something else. My problem is that I don't trust my hunger. I like measuring things and there is no objective hunger scale and I always end with "hey, it is not propper human hunger, you'v eaten 3 hours ago, it's just your daintyness" --> every time I was trying to be intuitive and adventurous with my meal plan (intuitive meal plan is oxymoron, isn't it?) it ended with some confusion and weigt loss. --> no intuitive eating for me right now. I believe and hope it IS possible to get there, but I think there is no sense in forcing myself- yourself in intuitive eating if you think you're not ready.
Moreover i think eating intuitive is not only eating when hungry and not only about body signals. It is eating spontaneously and eating in accordance with a situation (like traveling or conference or celebration) and in accordance with your emotions and being able to eat less one day and more on another... wow I wish I could do it!
So I am sorry- no helpful advices.
It must be hard to respond to your labmate jokes. My experience is that overweight/obese people/patients tend to joke about their weight/eating habits etc., but sometimes these jokes are just a shield that shadows them from reality and deeper troubles they have with their lives/weight. We all have our shielding strategies I suppose, but I alwyas feel uncomfortable in these situations as well.
Good luck with conference-eating and your presentation on Tuesday!!!
maybe it's easier to stick with a meal plan while traveling? then you know you've had the right amount and don't have to worry.
i always feel hungrier when i travel -- i'm sleep deprived, exhausted from running thru airports, jet-lagged (so it's hard to know what meal is the right one.)
maybe think about your feelings vs. eating? are you more anxious, worried, excited....?
because it's not really about the food, right?
How about juices or other liquid calories for when you are famished but physically full?
I think learning intuitive eating just takes time. (And a lot of it.) For me, the depths of my ED were in 1999-2000, relapses of varying severity continued through '06 or so, and it wasn't until '09 that I figured out how to eat intuitively. It came on fairly suddenly. I didn't have any particular strategy for making it happen...it just...did. On its own. It just took a decade to get there, lol
I am also a 24-year-old facing the recovery challenges (http://www.comfortableinmygenes.blogspot.com)and I certainly understand the problems that arise when you're out of your element - i.e. traveling. I struggle with intuitive eating, so typically have to stick to routine eating... I love your blog by the way!
IE is so so hard - esp. for girls like us who are used to our minds and bodies being constantly in opposition. It DOES get easier though with practice. Eventually (and it's taken my body years, really) your body will learn to trust your mind and vice versa. It will not always be this hard, I promise! Good for you for keeping at it. Esp. when you are out of your normal routine. You're doing great!
Post a Comment