One thing I haven't mentioned before is that I've actually signed up to work with a personal trainer at the gym, although only twice a month, so now this blog gets a new addition to the cast of characters. We'll call her K. I know, I know HUGE RED FLAG for an overexerciser, right? I get that, and agree whole-heartedly. But hear me out.
I got a free training consultation with my membership, and did it just out of curiousity. I didn't explicitly tell them about the ED, but just that I do a lot of fieldwork and it's a ton of hiking in the middle of nowhere and I've lost weight over the past year and want to put XX pounds back on and also to get stronger. My overall endurance is way too high for my own good, but honestly when it comes to things like upper arm strength I am embarrassed by myself.
M. was really worried about me even going in for the complementary session that came with my gym membership; it caused a big spat that morning. I really wish he'd been a fly on the wall when, after 5 minutes of talking to me, the training coordinator said "Well I can tell you two things right away: You need to eat more often and do way less cardio." I actually lied to him and told him I do a lot less than I actually do every day (cringe, sorry) but that only underscored the point in my mind, obviously. After the session, which I had 100% intended to be a one-time thing, I actually thought it might be a healthy thing for me to do, and I used my crack negotiating skills to get a much reduced price. If my master's degree turns out to be good for nothing else, at least working in a developing country has helped me to hone my market haggling skills.
So what is the point of this trainer thing? I basically have no.fucking.clue. what a healthy exercise schedule is like. I can read guidelines in books, magazines, online, etc, but can't take the next step and apply it to myself. With this trainer setup, someone else, someone healthy and wanting to put weight on me, is designing my workouts, and having a legit opinion behind it makes it easy for me to swallow. They always ask me if I've eaten within a couple of hours before a workout, and emphasize that I need to go get protein right afterwards. When I try to be stoic and don't take offers for a water break, they make me do it anyway.
Of course I haven't overhauled my whole routine. The trainer only does the strength stuff with me and leaves the cardio for me to do on my own. But 3x a week I go in and do the routines she sets up for me, and on those days I do decrease the cardio that I do so at least the time stays consistent and I'm not doing the new workout on top of everything else I was doing before. I've only had 3 sessions, and the trainer is still fine-tuning the prescribed workout for me. We've just been doing about 1/3 of the eventual whole thing at each session so I can take my time on learning the right form for each move. But my goal is that when I have the whole thing laid out, I'll work on decreasing my cardio more. The nice thing about weight-training, from an exercise reduction standpoint, is that it's pretty much impossible for me to do it every day, because my muscles take a while to repair, which helps to keep me from obsessifying it.
The only glitch in the whole thing was that the training coordinator I first talked to was a guy, huge and burly but also super-knowledgeable, maybe late-20s (hot as hell if you must know, but that's neither here nor there), but then the specific trainer they assigned me to is a girl that's younger than I am. Doh. That bothered me a bit at first, but she's pretty professional and legit seeming, so it's fine, and she's not all hardcore and scary like some of the older female trainers there.
Final note, is that EDers apparently make trainers really happy. She was thrilled when I actually brought her in a food diary (I am NOT required to do that all the time, just for one week for us to look at how my eating patterns might need adjusted, with full acknowledgment that she's not a dietitian. And that I already write it down anyway. And that I didn't include calorie tallys or even serving sizes on it, because I didn't feel like giving her that much detail. Anyway the conclusion was that my main things to work on are to eat a bigger breakfast and to spread my protein through the day better. I'll end this monstrously long parenthetical aside...now). "Wow you're awesome, no one ever writes down their food when I ask them to!" I had a good internal laugh on that one. If she only knew... lol. She was similarly surprised that I came in and did the workout in between sessions with her. Isn't that the point of paying her to teach me what to do??? I know that's the idea, but apparently follow-through is a big issue with a lot of clients. I could draw parallels to my therapy history, but I think that is probably obvious enough that I don't have to hit you over the head with it.
Ok, I hope everyone had a GREAT weekend, love y'all.
4 comments:
Well, this could be a good thing if used appropriately. My guess is that she may suspect you might have an ED. Do you think you could tell her you are in recovery? I do think when you work on physiology stuff with building muscles/tone, etc, it is important that the trainer know some of your history which includes honesty, like how much you are reaLly working out. Working with those who had EDs/have them, it IS different. I guess I'd feel a tad more comfortable if I knew you were at more of your target weight or working more with someone who was more of sports nutritionists/sports trainers since they tend to have a lot of experience working with those with EDs. Nancy Clark comes to mind. She has a fabulous book out about sports nutrition (I know you're not a competitive athlete but there tons of good info. in there)
But in saying that, I'm glad it at least has made you realize you can't weight train everyday, and perhaps that will help you with your meal plan.
This is of course all my opinion. I do hope it works out for you, and you learn from it, gain muscle, etc.
I know you're rationalizing things and I'm sure I'm projecting, but I would rave a big red flag on this one. Unless you completely cut out the cardio, drastically increase your food and are totally honest with her, I think it's simply a justification to work out more.
While I get that you want to be stronger--I'm in the same boat, my dear--until you cut out the cardio and eat more, you're basically just digging yourself a bigger hole. How can your body build muscle from nothing if you continue to create a caloric deficit?
I hope that doesn't sound harsh, but I worked at a gym for 7 years and obviously have my own issues. I just worry, as it's something to keep an eye on.
No cardio! What's your motivation?
I heard you out. When I read the first sentence I immediately thought of writing:
"I'm going to try to be nice. ;)
WTF is the trainer for?!"
Well you answered that.
So, my only concern is that this routine is going to end up becoming an addition instead of a substitution.
PS, that guy hit the nail on the head. More food, less cardio.
youveneverheardthatbeforehaveyou:p
I worked with a trainer who had experience working with EDs when I was in recovery, but I did weight training ONLY (plus two timed walks a week.) This gave me a little movement 4 days of the week for my sanity, but totaled only 70 minutes weekly. This was an appropriate amount of movement for my body during weight gain. Some people don't get to move at all.
I know you're feeling undermotivated right now, but as another commenter said, don't dig yourself further into a hole. Your boyfriend (who has your best interest at heart) sees issues with this. Your blog friends see some issues with this. You yourself obviously see some issues with this since you omitted the truth about how much you exercise. Working with a trainer with experience in this area would be good if you a) were honest b) if it was all you did. Otherwise, I'm with the other commenters--and you know I love you! I just want you to be healthy even more than I want the ED to be happy.
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