Fact: She is very thin.
Guess: I admit to committing blatant assumption based on looks: I think she is probably seeing H. for an ED. This is likely regardless of her size, because although H. doesn't exclusively treat ED patients, it is what she "specializes" in.
Fact: We have this rather involuntary kind of acknowledgement, no nod or wave, just a brief glance every week to assure that yes, things are going as routine. I guess we are part of each other's landscapes on Tuesday mornings.
Fact: Last Friday, my real estate agent notified me that she'd be showing my place this morning.
Fact: Agent showed up this morning, and guess who she had in tow to check out my home?
Fact: As you have probably guessed by now, it was Ms. Earlier Session, and her boyfriend.
Fact: AWKWARD.
So, it was interesting to have one of H.'s other ED patients roaming around my house checking my stuff out. I would guess she might have an idea that I see H. for an ED also, since, again, that's H's special expertise, and because I was extremely underweight when we first started seeing each other, and have been inching upwards during treatment. I tried to see things through her eyes. I had to wonder, if she wasn't sure I was seeing H. for an ED, would my stuff give me away? Exercise equipment, check. Bathroom scale with notebook next to it for record keeping, check. Kitchen counter furnished with food scale, calculator, and reference book of calorie counts, check. Wii with a variety of "active" games stacked next to it on top of Wii Fit balance board, check. And, to top it off, printout from my last bone density scan, sitting on one of my end tables.
Fortunately, I was so amused by the randomness of the whole situation that I didn't really get anxious or upset about the incident, you have to admit it's kind of funny. It will be interesting to see her at the office tomorrow morning, now that she has encountered me in my natural habitat . . .
I can't help wondering what she thought when she was in my kitchen (my pantry has no door, so a ton of food is very visible) or bathroom or whatnot. I'd feel pretty weird wandering around the house of a stranger that I had only ever seen in a psychology office. But then again, she may not even know I see H. There are several psychs in that practice, and since she is always on her way out, she never sees H. come to fetch me from the waiting room. I know for a fact that she sees H., because she always walks her clients back out.
This leads to something I wonder more and more, as I advance in recovery: if someone just looked at me, with no context, would they suspect I have an ED? I guess the bigger question is, would I want them to? Or, even bigger, why would I need them to?
Lots of facts, but not that many answers in the end.
(I have no idea why the font size decided to freak out, and blogger won't let me fix it. Sorry. And if you have no clue what the Awkward Turtle is, see here)
8 comments:
That is too wild! What a coincidence. Maybe you should have a group session now!
My, that's definitely some coincidence, and I'd feel very awkward too. It's hard to say what she thinks. She may feel exactly like you, suspicious but not wanting to make a specific answer.
As for whether some of your stuff flashes a redlight of an eating disorder, hmm, yes and no, I guess. But other people except for those who have EDs may not pick up on anything at all but just think you are some health conscious person. As a friend of mine once said, "when you go fishing for trouble, you may just it." Not that this girl was, but she may have been curious.
You raise some good questions if you would want someone to know you had an ED or why it would even matter. More for thinking Cammy.
On a last note, I've never had that happen to me, but I know I feel weird enough with guests over who may wonder towards my bookshelf and see all my ED-related books. I remember a lecture many moons ago by Patch Adams who used to say how much you could learn by seeing what people read. He often went to people's houses and spent 2-3 hours with them before ever making any diagnosis.
Btw, is this the same girl you mentioned in several posts ago--the one you felt saddened for or a different girl?
Okay, yes, that is WAY up there on the awkward scale! I would be completely freaked out, too.
I forgot about the book factor, I have many ED books (including ones by Harriet and Carrie) peppered throughout my library.
This isn't the girl I see around town that worries me so much. I hope very much that girl is getting treatment too...Ms. Earlier session seems to be at about the same stage as my physically, I say roughly because I still have VERY distorted perceptions most of the time, so really I don't know.
Wow ... that is some serious awkward turtle. Thankfully my doc's office was in a different part of the city, so my chances of bumping into another patient were slim to none. And now that I call her from school there's no chance at all.
Wow, what are the chances?! Sometimes I wonder if people look at me and know I have an ED. I think most people just think I'm the "lucky" kind of thin. That's sad! I wonder what was going on in Ms. Earlier Session's mind. Crazy!
I showed up a little bit late for my appt today, just to avoid more awkward turtles so soon after yesterday's encounter. I didn't mention it to H., either, didn't see much of a point. I am still much more amused than upset by it.
Objectively, it was a weird coincidence but not as unlikely as it may seem. My university is large-ish but the city itself is not. I live in typical "student housing," relatively low-rent and within a 1.5 mile radius of campus. If Ms. ES is house-hunting, that drastically narrows her search down and increases the odds of looking at my place. If she is relatively quiet and studious, the fact that I live in a duplex as opposed to an apartment/condo complex would further funnel her towards me. Also, dog-friendly housing is VERY hard to find around here, which would be another factor increasing her odds of showing up on my doorstep. In spite of that retrospective analysis, I sure wouldn't have placed money on the chance of her actually ending up here!
I love the awkward turtle! It cracks me up just thinking about it!
And on a serious note, I do hope that other girl is getting treatment, if she has an ED.
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