On the Road Again

It has been a CRAZY week, I leave at 7 AM tomorrow for my next research trip to Tropical Field Site.  This one really snuck up on me.  I think I have everything ready, but there is still definite trip anxiety going on.

Reasons for being anxious:

1) This is my most autonomous research trip yet.
Previously I've always had at least a professor or 2 with me, and last time there were 10 people total, almost all of whom had been there before.  This time, it's just me with one assistant, who has never visited the country before, much less our specific site.  My language skills are better than they were at the start of the last trip but still not as good as I'd like them to be.

2) Usual travel issues
Will my flight be cancelled/delayed, will my bags arrive (I'm carrying several thousand dollars worth of equipment), will I have to sit next to a kid that spills stuff in my lap, etc.

3) Food/exercise
I had a major relapse on the last trip.  I will be there for a shorter duration this time, not as much time to develop/sustain harmful habits, but I still need to try harder to do better....which brings anxiety about gaining weight.  My relapses have rarely, if ever, been conscious attempts to lose weight, they've just results from attempts to not gain gone wild.

Ways to deal:

 1) Even though I won't be supervised, the truth is that none of my professors have used the techniques that I'll be doing, and they were never hands-on with the work in the field last time.  So mostly I let them know what I'm doing and seek approval for making changes if needed (NOTHING ever goes exactly as planned).   So this shouldn't be that much different....but the feeling of flying solo is definitely more significant.  If something goes drastically wrong, chances are they couldn't have prevented/fixed it any better than me, it's just dread of coming back and having to deliver bad news to them if that does happen.
BUT they've both done a lot of tropical field work themselves, even if it's not using my exact methods, so in short they know and accept that shit happens and trust that I do my best to make the best of it...

2) See last sentence above.  Shit happens.  It can and probably will; I'll survive.  On the last trip, I a) was wait-listed on my 1st flight and almost missed it, b) my next connection was cancelled completely and I risked being stranded overnight, c) the next available flight landed only 20 minutes before my international flight left, nowhere near enough time to re-check in and do security and customs, and d) my luggage was left in the United States and I didn't get it for over 24 hours.  And I'm here to tell the tale!  In every situation (even item c, which involved major pulling of strings), things were worked out and I arrived safe and on time that night.

3) Food and exercise....I need to work on keeping my priorities straight and the big picture in mind.  Since it's just me and an inexperienced assistant, if I am not on top of my game, or if I get sick or hurt, the work just won't happen and not getting my data is the WORST thing that could occur on this trip.  So I have to make sure to do everything I can to avoid that, which includes fueling myself appropriately and not over-working my body with extra hiking and activity.
     I'll be on a much stricter timeline than over the summer, with less total days at the site, which will be a help.  I tend to use free time destructively, and so having fewer free days and afternoons to myself will probably be a huge help in keeping me on track.
   Also, during and immediately following my last trip, I was in intense turmoil over my relationship with Match.  As you poor people have had to read way too much about in recent posts, we've worked through tons of things and really cemented our relationship more firmly than ever over the last 6-8 weeks, and I am feeling extremely secure and confident about the situation now.  Last time involved a lot of life changes. I was leaving for the tropics, and when I came back I was moving to a different state, and while I was gone HE was moving to a different state as well, and putting us 10 hours apart.  We've gotten into the swing of this Distance Couple thing, though, and I trust him and us more than I ever really thought possible.
   I have packed a TON of supplemental food, because I don't tend to be comfortable with what they serve at the field station.  I have enough that I could probably make it off of just what's in my luggage, although I do eat some of what they give us.  But rice and fish heads for breakfast?  Hopefully even a non-ED person would understand me turning my nose up at that...anyway, I did pretty well with food on my December '09 trip, so I need to use that as a model and not be tempted to repeat the July '10 trip.

So those are the challenges.  I'm SO excited to be back on the ground and bringing back the crown jewel and purpose of my academic and professional life right now....DATA.  Gimme gimme, I wants, lemme at it.  Really itching to see the results of the work I did when I was there over the summer, it's like Christmas!  Even though I stress over these trips, I'm going down to do what I'm really passionate about, and wouldn't trade it for the world.

Also, we're going to a new part of the country with TOTALLY new habitat and wildlife, I'm really looking forward to that.  Considering what a ritualistic and routine-dependent personality/lifestyle I have, I actually really love adventure and seeing new places, so this is going to be super exciting. One of my least favorite things about not writing under my own name is that I can't show you the AWESOME pictures of where I work!

I'll miss my family, my dog, Match.  I won't have any phone or internet for weeks, and it's hard to be completely cut off from contact, imagining them going about their daily lives while I'm down there scrambling around in the jungle.  BUT I know that they will all be here for me when I get back, and in my experience the joy of reunions definitely makes up for difficult good-byes.

Which brings me to y'all!  I'm going to miss you, and really appreciate both the support you give me and, for those that blog themselves, the insights I am privy to from your awesome and thoughtful posts.  Don't forget me while I'm gone, love you muchly!

<3
Cammy