So, I'm actually tired of thinking about this topic. But it provides context for a lot of things going on right now, thus I'm going to give what I intend to be a short version of it. I think most people that still read this blog ( . . . Bueller?) already know the gist and pretty much knew this was coming. So I'm going to skip all that prologue; if you're absolutely determined for more background you can text me about it, and if you don't have my phone number then I don't feel like telling you family secrets. Fair?
So my dad has not handled it well ("it" being my mom moving out and filing for divorce, I guess that's the CliffsNotes background to the story). He has been texting her mean, guilt-mongering things every day, has tried to cut off her access to all the money/accounts, changed the locks on the family house even though she co-signed when they bought it, etc etc. He went about a week without talking to me except for a couple of texts demanding information about credit card charges I'd made (for one meal and a rental car, which I'd cleared with my mom ahead of time) because he was monitoring all the accounts to figure out where she was and what she was doing.
My brothers (ages 22 and 20) did not handle it well either. Fuck the Y chromosomes in this family. Neither of them are speaking to her. The older one said some pretty mean things to her, but isn't speaking to dad either. I assume the younger one is speaking to dad, because he's always seen switching to that alliance as an easy way to hurt mom.
Starting this week, Dad started texting me again, mostly to tell me how sad he is and how unfair mom is. The brothers are texting/calling me crying and venting about how sad and mad they are. I call mom every day so she has someone to talk to about how sad she is that everyone is mad at her. Somehow, no one in my family has thought to ask me if I feel sad or mad. Oh well.
I'm pissed at my brothers for not being better towards my mom, but still being supportive because, well, I'm the Big Sister. That's my job, even when they disappoint me. I remember when they were peeing in their own ears and eating crayons, so expectations have never been high . . .
That's that. I really don't feel like saying anything else about it right now.
1 comment:
I'm so glad your mom was able to get out and file for divorce. I'm really sorry that it has been ugly and nasty. Family stuff is hard. It also sounds like the divisions in your family are difficult. Seems like keeping a balance with your brothers would be hard, and I totally support you doing that--I just want to make sure you don't get burned out or feel like you have to be the middle-person here. Ugh, I'm really sorry your dad has gone off the deep end here. Your mom is very lucky to have you as her daughter (she sounds pretty awesome too!), and I know the two of you have been through a lot together. Please know that I've been thinking about you and your family and sending good vibes your way. Hang in there, and please let me know how I can support you. *Hugs*
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