Surgery, Father-in-Law, Flu, and Other Delights

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Lots to update on since I last posted; things have been a bit hellish but are looking up. Match had his wisdom teeth out + jaw surgery about two weeks ago.  It was a really brutal procedure and didn’t go all that well. He woke up in the middle of the procedure and could feel everything, and instead of putting him back under they just strapped him to the table and kept going after adding a little bit of lidocaine. He is still having nightmares/flashbacks about that. The recovery was also pretty awful – he bled for at least 12 hours and was in super excruciating pain. He also had violent chills/shaking that evening and throughout the night.  I had been really emotional after I dropped him off for the procedure (kept a bright face on for him before because he was already nervous) because I knew they were going to hurt him, but I didn’t expect it to be quite that bad afterward.

The rest of the week he was in mostly just plain excruciating pain, and it was over a week before he could eat any solid food. Most of the liquid supplements/options available are really sugary, and typically he goes out of his way to limit added sugars in his diet, so he was also sugar crashing and feeling like death every afternoon. I basically took the week off of working on my dissertation stuff to just keep him company to help keep his mind off the pain – we played lots of SimCity together, watched HBO and soccer and tons of silly pet videos online, did daily ice cream/gelato/froyo excursions, etc etc.  By now he can eat all of his favorites again and is in a lot less pain, and he has his energy back and his spirits are high, so all of that is a relief.

All of that was interesting as well as awful. It was an important milestone in one specific way: it was the first time in our relationship that the food accommodations (limitation on us going out, timing of meals, etc) had to be made for him, not me. I’m glad that I’m in a place right now that I can do that. Also, the fact that I was eating my normal foods while he was sitting down to just Boost and yogurt was a bit awkward but manageable. A few years ago it would have been unbearable for me because I was so self-conscious about eating in front of people. Basically, I’m at a place at which this could be about him, as it should, rather than about my issues.

The weekend after Match had the surgery on Monday, his dad came to visit. His dad is not a bad person but very difficult to be around. He is somewhat Aspergerish and really evangelical and outspoken about the immorality of most things in daily life, and my tolerance for being around him lasts about 24 hours. He stayed for three days.

One of the main issues is that he makes stupid comments about food all.the.time (despite the fact that he has diabetes and manages it more poorly than anyone I have ever seen). Examples just from this trip:

“Wow, I can’t believe she ate all that food!”

“Surely she’s not hungry yet!”

“Yeah, I went off of my insulin because it made me gain weight, and I’d rather live 10 years less than be that fat.”

“What is the glycemic index of that yucca she’s eating? Oh wait I’ll Google it.”

Yes, he also mostly refers to me (sorry, I mean to “she”) as if I’m not in the room.

He and Match were getting along okay, but then in the last 90 minutes of his stay they had a huge and very painful fight. It was terrible. I get credit for not letting him huff out and take the train to the airport before they could reach some level of resolution. In the moment I was focused on him not leaving angry so that he and Match would be on okay terms, but after I left I’ve gotten more and more angry about the terrible and unreasonable things he said, as has Match.

I guess you know you’re in a serious relationship when you spend a larger portion of your therapy session discussing your partner’s parents than your own.

The day after Match’s Dad left, I came down with some kind of bug – it was like the flu with no gastro symptoms. I had a migraine-scale headache, raging fever, bad dry cough, muscle aches, chills, etc. The fever broke overnight (along with about 10 gallons of sweat, I soaked the entire bed, it was amazing and gross), and I felt fine the next morning, but the headache and a mild fever came back that afternoon. And that pattern has been about the same every day since (this started on Wednesday and I’m writing on Sunday). No idea what’s up. At the same time, the fever experience really made me appreciate having a body that works like it is supposed to (the immune system ramping up, etc).

So, food and weight: Not a lot to report on the food/body front. Weight has stayed the same since I’ve been here, despite some pretty splurgy restaurant meals at least a couple of times a week (which I’d expect to make me gain) and some pretty damn stressful events (which historically result in me losing).

Exercise: To the surprise of precisely no one, I ran through some minor shin pain last month/this month so that now the pain is major enough that I can’t run at all. I guess there’s not a whole lot more to say about that besides what I’ve said all the other times it has happened before.

On a time crunch before we head off to see a soccer game, more soon. Love y’all.