Tomorrow I have a double whammy therapy day. It's been 2 weeks since I saw C (therapist) and 3 weeks since I saw D (dietitian). D is not going to be too happy with me, because of restricting on the trip, not meeting some other food goals since I've been back (not in terms of calorie intake, just other details of the makeup and distribution of those calories) and the fact that I haven't kept up with food records very well since returning. I also haven't been doing great with the exercise reduction since I returned. I guess I felt like I "earned" some time off the challenge this week since last week was such an upheaval of my norm. I'm sure C. won't be shy about setting me straight on that either. Dum, da dum dum . . . I'm lucky to have her.
Monday, March 15, 2010
BC and Back to Therapizing
So I officially started taking my birth control pills last night. I've been putting it off for weeks, because I was worried that it will make me gain weight. But 1) my post about the issue got tons of comments from people who haven't had that side effect, 2) my mom has taken the same brand of BC and swore up and down it didn't make her gain, and 3) the side effects of the pill can't be as dramatic as the side effects of pregnancy, and 4) even if I do gain, I'm technically supposed to be adding a few more pounds anyway. The Provera I took last month (the doc prescribed it to kickstart a period before going on BC) gave me a bit of a breakout on my back, but nothing more. REALLY trying not to let anxiety over the BC make me a complete freak about my weight this week. I just cannot stand waiting around seeing what something will do to my body, you know? Feels disempowering, even though I know the main thing it's disempowering is the ED-related obsession with regulating everything about my physique.
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5 comments:
Hope the pill goes well! Really, I never had any weight effects from it. If anything, I lost a little...not that you should be motivated by that, but you know what I mean :)
One other possible side effect is in the boobage dept. I knew several people who took it and were very happy wirh this side effect. I don't know if that is one you are concerned about, but that could be a good thing.
Remember too that it's easy to let the anxiety override what may really be happening. So hang in there.
Good luck on the appts. I'm sure C and D will put you right on track. ;-)
hey you still have time to challenge yourself and meet goals... there is no excuse in not starting right now, today. be proud of yourself and your accomplishments. remember, the decision is alwyas ultimately left up to you. "they" can get mad or frustrated but the only person really suffering is yoruself
funny about the BC, the last time i was on it was at the worst of my ED...which was some 5-6 years ago and have no taken it for a good 5 years now since then
Goodluck with the pills.
I also hope therapy does go well. I know that things have been off kilter lately but I do think its a good time to sit down and regroup with everyone so that you learn from it and it doesn't stay that way :).
Hope it goes really well, I really really do!
Like you said, you ARE lucky to have her. Good luck in your therapy and RD appointments. You won't let the ED strip away your energy and your life. You've had too much of a taste of fun lately to let that happen for too long. It'll take some pushing yourself, but you'll be back on your food and exercise goals as soon as you can, I'm sure.
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