I'm listening to the Steve Jobs biography on my iPod (appropriate coincidence, I know) right now, and to be completely honest it is largely boring me stiff. The majority of it actually functions as a biography of Apple and every product they've ever produced. I'm a Mac user and fan, don't get me wrong, but Isaacson seems not to have left out any detail of every bureaucratic machination that went into the development of every single product of Apple and Pixar since the early 1980's. Blah.But since I have a pathological aversion to not finishing any book that I've started, I am through 20 of the 24 hours of the thing so far. And I'm sure that now that you're through two paragraphs of this post, you are wondering why the hell I am talking about this here.
One thing that is strikingly obvious to me is that Steve Jobs had serious Eating Issues that started as a teenager and lasted until the end of his life--which may have occurred earlier than necessary as an indirect result of his diet. There are frequent mentions of his "crazy diets" and "binging and purging" and "routine fasts", but the fact that these could result from an actual eating disorder instead of just his inherent eccentricity is never addressed.
I'm neither a psychologist nor a physician, so maybe I'm overstepping myself here. I won't claim to be able to diagnose someone from reading a book written about (and not even by) them. Disclaimer complete.
Since his death, there has been some press coverage about how Jobs delayed surgery to remove his cancerous pancreas, instead spending 9 months trying out "alternative therapies." And so he's painted as just another crunchy Californian, playing hippie. The linked article opens with the question, "Was Steve Jobs a smart guy who made a stupid decision when it came to his health?" But in reality he had been an extremely ascetic and extreme eater ever since he was a teenager, and the real issue appears to be not that he was implementing weird diets to treat the cancer, but that he was just refusing to give up long-ingrained patterns.
If you read some of the details in this book (which is pretty honest, neither specifically vilifying nor lionizing him), it's clear that a big handicap in his cancer fight was his absolutely inflexibility about food and eating. He directly disregarded the advice from doctors about special nutrition measures to take after having part of his pancreas removed--which can affect how your body processes protein, in addition to affecting other aspects of digestion. Some of the people interviewed for the book remember his wife cooking him elaborate meals and giving up her own veganism to encourage him to eat the variety of foods he needed to recover and maintain his health, while he just sat at the table with his wife and kids, not eating anything at all rather than break his personal dietary "rules."
(By the way, it's well-known that chemo and other cancer treatments can cause loss of appetite, but from the chronology and episodes related by friends and family that are featured in the book, it appears that when he finally did start chemo, it just exacerbated an ongoing problem with his unwillingness to eat).
Pancreatic cancer is serious (although he had one of the less acute forms), and I'm not at all claiming that he would have survived it if he'd just eaten a damn steak or trying to accuse him of anything. I can't say for sure if he was bulimic or anorexic or orthorexic or anything else, but watching the pattern of his seemingly unshakeable behaviors--which eventually did telescope into a life-threatening situation-- whatever you define them as, is interesting to contemplate.
---> The point I'm trying to make is that it's fascinating to me that what seems to have highly possibly been such a blatant eating disorder was never addressed as such. Instead his asceticism is painted--almost admiringly--as a result of his uber-Type-A personality. I can't help but wonder how it would have been recognized/discussed/spun differently if he were a woman. Or an athlete. Or if he weren't so rich and easily passed off as indulging in eccentric, overprivileged fads. Or if he had lived long enough for the long-term effects of eating only apples or carrots for weeks at a time to become apparently on an otherwise cared-for body. We'll never know, and I'm just musing now.
Anyway, just something I have been thinking about, thought just bring it up. I think it hits home for me because I have made so many "stupid decisions" regarding my own health in relation to my ED, and it's really thought-provoking to try to imagine what would happen if I had to have a major surgery for a major disease that would majorly overhaul all of the routines and rules I still cling to. Even at the depths of my ED, to be honest, my diet wasn't as extreme as what Steve Jobs seems to have subjected himself to for years, and I'm not even a vegetarian now. So honestly think I'd do whatever it took. But the very fact that I'd have to even wonder about that sort of twinges my conscience.
By the age of 21 I had pretty much destroyed my knees and had to give up running for life, after never taking a day off for years despite stress fractures and other problems. It didn't make any more sense at the time than it does in retrospect, but I did it nevertheless. Maybe that was what it was like for Jobs, who knows.
9 comments:
I had read something about this as well, at least browsed it somewhere. It does make you wonder how much difference would it have been if he were as you mentioned an athlete, a woman, etc.
I'm also wondering how his family was about this, whether they suspected it, denied it, tried to get him help, etc.
I also heard that if Steve hasn't gotten into computers, he would have done another creative medium in art.
A really intriguing post, Cammy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I totally agree with your point of view, and I'm sure if he were a woman his habits would be portrayed MUCH differently.
Very interesting! I bought the book & plan on reading it... I'm just notoriously slow about getting to books and I'm a little intimidated by the size of this sucker. I had no idea about his strange eating (or whatever we want to call it). Thanks!
Wow, super interesting. Thanks for sharing this!
Wow, you and I have a lot in common. I also ran a lot and with all my hairline fracture, I had to give it up at around 21 too.
Anyhow on to Jobs....
As you know, my dad has cancer. He's no hippie but ever since he got diagnosed hes been weird with food. He doesn't eat a lot of carbs but he does drink Ensure a lot caues he doesn't have much of an appetite. He prefers eating lots of steak and some vegetables. He has NO taste for bread even though he used to love it before! Its so weird. But I everyone shrugs it off when he says refused to eat bread and stuff with his friends. But if he were a woman, I think people would act differently. He lost so much weight and I'm sure people would assume he needs an ED therapist if he were a woman.
What can I say, cancer does some crazy shit.
This is fascinating. I remember reading an article about Steve Jobs' odd eating habits, which were definitely portrayed as quirkiness rather than disorderedness. The image of an eccentric genius is certainly more romantic than that of a man suffering from a "woman's" illness. Obviously, Jobs was an incredibly powerful figure and I wonder how much influence he/his family/his empire has had over the way the media portrays him.
I also wonder how many other super successful people actually have secretly suffered from eating disorders, since EDs are often associated with those Type-A, perfectionist, highly driven personality types. From my perspective on a college campus, it's obvious that EDs thrive in highly competitive environments, and I can only imagine that the business/technology world would have similar pressures.
Super interesting. I hadn't read about this before, so clearly I hadn't thought about it! I really enjoyed this post, C. I wonder if Steve Jobs' family ever thought that his diet was disordered or if they just thought he was stubborn. People seem to view eating different when it's a "man" so I'd be curious to hear what they thought.
I know that illness can do some crazy stuff to your eating habits. My grandpa became very preoccupied with his weight when his dementia was kicking in and he refused to eat anything unhealthy (TOTALLY not how he was before.) Not AT ALL comparing cancer to dementia, but I wonder in both situations whether there was a certain element of "control" that they derived pleasure from when everything else was spinning. Just my two cents...
Huh. Totally interesting. Thanks for posting this so I don't have to read that boring biography either :)
Yikes. I have never read the book or suffered from an ED but the idea of a man suffering from one for decades out in the open is pretty devastating. Or did he hide some of it? It really does make one re-evaluate his character. How much of his alleged bouts of meanness and perfectionism, his drive for control came from a legitimate, painful illness? And how much pain must have he been feeling if he had an ED?
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